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Defining watch categories / types


bhduck

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Sure, we all start off telling ourselves “I need a watch for work and maybe a more casual one for the weekends”...

 

...but that’s quickly a very inadequate mental framework for justifying more purchases.

 

So, I’m sipping whiskey and mapping out my categories.

 

Dress watch. Sports watch. Quirky watch. Muscle watch (any 47mm PAM or DSSD). Dinner date watch. Bar/cocktails watch. Wedding watch. Grabbing coffee by myself watch.

 

 

- Out during the day, casual. Sub is the classic choice. But maybe an IWC spitfire, metal strap.

- if you’re wearing a shirt, maybe a leather strap. Petit Prince on a decent leather strap could do the job.

 

Then there’s work:

 

- everyday watch - where you don’t have to wear a suit to work. Any PAM on rubber or brown leather. Tudor Black Bay.

Or a dress watch with a brown leather strap if we’re talking a chinos/blue shirt environment. IWC Portugesier?

- everyday watch for when you do need a suit and tie. PP Aquanaut might be OTT. Simple Rolex like an Explorer I?

- sales meetings where you don’t want to come across a flash [censored] wearing the clients annual salary on your wrist. Pam111 could fit the bill.

- sales meetings where everyone is jostling. Surely any AP with a touch of rose gold. An Aquanaut if you want to go classier. Or a steel AP Royal Oak.

 

- Dinner dates where you care. Wedding watches. Got to be a gloss black leather strap. Cartier Santos perhaps too obvious. A JLC chrono?

 

 

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The categories seem a bit limiting for day-to-day living though?  Just some off the top of my head that seem quite popular:

 

- Diving under an offshore oil rig but you don't want your dive buddy to get the wrong idea, you like him, but you're not dressing to impress him watch

 

- Co-piloting a bomber and you want to calculate fuel consumption and all the electronic equipment has failed, and nobody has a calculator or phone, and you're also the only person since the 1950s that can remember how a slide rule works watch.

 

- Timing how long it takes Blofeld to explain how he's going to kill you and escape watch

 

- Goddamit, this is an emergency, can a single person in this room tell me the current phase of the moon NOW watch

 

- The 'I dress like a lady on weekends' watch (Doxa Sub 300T, obviously)

 

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And let's not forget the Little Blue Pill watch with 15 minute countdown increments, not unlike a massive chronograph multifunction World's Cup Sailing watch ... both are penis extenders.

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The categories seem a bit limiting for day-to-day living though?  Just some off the top of my head that seem quite popular:
 
- Diving under an offshore oil rig but you don't want your dive buddy to get the wrong idea, you like him, but you're not dressing to impress him watch
 
- Co-piloting a bomber and you want to calculate fuel consumption and all the electronic equipment has failed, and nobody has a calculator or phone, and you're also the only person since the 1950s that can remember how a slide rule works watch.
 
- Timing how long it takes Blofeld to explain how he's going to kill you and escape watch
 
- Goddamit, this is an emergency, can a single person in this room tell me the current phase of the moon NOW watch
 
- The 'I dress like a lady on weekends' watch (Doxa Sub 300T, obviously)
 

Tremendous. Just when I thought I had my bases covered with 422 reps, I realise I’m an amateur with simply nothing to wear. I need to get to my TD.

For the Oil rig dives, I think a Sinn U1 would be appropriate.

Co piloting a bomber I’m spoiled for choice but reliability matters in these situations, so going gen seems sensible. I’ll trade in a few reps for a Glycine.

For Blofeld confrontations I’ll rely on Natuq’s penis extender watches, what with the sexual tension between Roger Moore and the white cat stroker.


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I just had to google Doxa 300T. The orange one would be spot on for a beach weekend when I want to eat ice cream on the promenade but I’d have to swap it out when done.


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5 hours ago, bhduck said:

 

I just had to google Doxa 300T. The orange one would be spot on for a beach weekend when I want to eat ice cream on the promenade but I’d have to swap it out when done.
 

 

For the record I love that watch, I was just winding up Nanuq....who is famously delicate.  Think of him as the Alaskan Niles out of Frasier, but with a bit more ballet in him.  I've never been to Alaska, but it's the vibe I get - all pinky fingers in the air when wrestling bears.*

 

Sinn U1 - got one, yes.  👌   A rep obviously, so I'd probably drown at 2m, but I'd be thinking of a VERY stern email to Trusty in my final moments.

 

Breitling Navtimer for selling the idea of having a slide rule on your watch and that owners might also have the ambition to get laid.

 

Octopussy Seiko Digital Quarz for Blofeld.  (1) Get to say Octopussy a lot (2) Very accurate until the battery dies (3) See Breitling Navtimer for sex appeal.

 

Patek Philippe ref 1518 Moonphase - well worth the millions when a sky isn't easily available to you and you're in a hurry.

 

Dress as a lady on weekends watch?  I think the theory is good that it would probably over-compensate, something super masculine?  I'd nominate the Omega Railmaster XXL for being so gigantic that a shop assistant once helped me out thinking I was visually impaired and it was some kind of disabled watch.

 

 

 

 

 

🤦‍♂️ *Remembering that the scripts of Frasier are literally a written compendium of 15,000 come backs. RIP.

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Hah! I’ll have you know there are many watch connoisseurs here in Alaska, fully dedicated to our passionate pursuit of perfection. No detail is too small to overlook in our erudite examinations for excellence. To wit, here we see a stalwart Alaskan collector testing his new watch’s waterproofing. Note the color coordination in his athletic gear.

b986e1ff665389cb7b5bbd225a1232ec.jpg

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Hah! I’ll have you know there are many watch connoisseurs here in Alaska, fully dedicated to our passionate pursuit of perfection. No detail is too small to overlook in our erudite examinations for excellence. To wit, here we see a stalwart Alaskan collector testing his new watch’s waterproofing. Note the color coordination in his athletic gear.

b986e1ff665389cb7b5bbd225a1232ec.jpg


That’s a serious coke habit you have there Minty


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