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Joke of the Day...


TwoTone

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Tough day with your teenager? Read this.

The Goodbye Letter

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was

nicely made, and everything was picked up.

Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope

and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene

with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so

nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing,

tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than

I am.

But it's not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will

be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood

for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to

the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for

ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the

cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will

find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your

grandchildren.

Love, your son,

John.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the

report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is

safe for me to come home."

My kind of kid :lol:

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INDIAN WITH ONE TESTICLE

There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So

named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and

asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and

said,

"If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good

morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep

into the forest where he made love to her all day and

all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird

died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would

do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until

a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away

for many years.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw

Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you Onestone."

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made

love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her

all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow

Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story?????............................OH,

Come on...take a guess! .

Think about it

You're going to love this!)

And the moral is...

You can't kill two birds with one stone!!

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Oi Micheal as soon as I can work this 'lkernvhyemgetafuckingilifegfwmdkthum' out your in big trouble bucko :lol:

Just keep them coming Micheal, we have this section for a reason :thumbsupsmileyanim:

Ken

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The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's

Penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded

that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more

pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study.

After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason

the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure

during sex.

Newfoundlanders, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study.

After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, and 2 cases of beer, they concluded

that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.

:lol:

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