Keeping the romance going

[Broker1981]

Hey!

I have been together with my lady for almost 5 years. Not too long compared to many, but still a considerable and serious relationship. We aren't married, and wont be. We don't have children and we wont have any either.

It's probably highly politically incorrect to say, but i don't really like children. Also we both have occupations that require working at night. If i was to have children now i'd probably see them every other day for about an hour before heading off to work. In short i'd have to give up my job, which would be very bad. I know that this contradicts common convention, but my lady is unable to have children and has no desire to have any either.

I do love my lady, but i have found that it takes work to keep a relationship going. Work and also creativity. I have never been afraid of work, anybody who's been in a busy restaurant kitchen knows that the work is hard. However i am having problems in the creativity department. without the creativity you quickly end up in a rut.

It's 4 am and i will shortly be getting to bed. We have our private time in the night. I am usually home somewhere between midnight and 1.30 am, and my lady is home around the same time.

I usually cheat a bit and make us some food during my shift at the restaurant. Then the ambiance comes into play. I replace as much electric lights with candles as possible. I burn some tea to make the place smell right. I find one of my playlists that is spiked with Teddy Pendergrass, Barry White, Andrea Bocelli, Prince, Marvin Gaye and Anita Ward. The TV is banned, and the entertainment mostly consists of talks and dancing. The food is always seafood, light, savory, and not very filling. The dessert is always a fruit plate with seasonal fruits and sometimes a dessert sauce (coulis or caramel).

This is something i try to have happen 2 - 3 times a week. During the high-seasons like November, December and summer it can easily be reduced to once every 2 - 3 weeks because of the tremendous work load.

I am trying to avoid the conversation we have seen in numerous American dramas where seemingly happy couples break out into big arguments that reek havoc on the relationship. So my solution is to ask you guys:

What is your routine? What do you do to keep the romance going?

BTW before anybody believes i live in some sort of ultra-harmonious relationship. Let me tell you, one of the thing that keep us together is that we fight. We shout, we don't back down, at times a mug or ashtray is sacrificed to one of the walls, but we always agree in the end. I am also blessed with a lady that never repeats things from earlier arguments. She sticks to topic and once an argument is finished it's dead and buried never to be addressed again.

[donerix]

Looks like you found your soul mate.

Don't fix it if it ain't broken.

I would love to give advice, but my track record hardly makes me an authority on the subject (unfortunately I can fall in and out of love in surprising and increasingly shorter intervals...)

But I agree: You have to work to keep a relationship interesting which really isn't so hard as long as you don't fall victim to the every day routine which is the best known romance killer of all...