Grumpy

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears Formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature Through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to See what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking At two spiders mating. " Daddy , what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her Father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he Replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took Her foot and stomped them flat, saying "Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback Mountain [censored] in our garden TASTELESS JOKE An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman. "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like In the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and Took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!" "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bastard. Was she pretty?" "Dunno.. Never found the head!"

Looks like a new subway station and shopping complex will replace the old market. I had no idea that it brings in $3.7 million in tax revenues a year! City officals are claiming this is a blow against the rampant piracy of goods. Yea right! In our local paper there has been alot of news about piracy these past few days. They claim counterfieters are allied with orangized crime, use child labor and, violate work safety standards. Hmm since when was China ever concerned about safety standards or child labor?

I really dont care for the busy dial but, overall the watch is not too bad.