Dog Food Diet
I was standing in line the other day at the local
Wal-Mart with a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my
Rottweiler, when the woman behind me asked if
I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her "No, I was starting The Purina
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because the
last time I tried the diet, I had ended up in the
hospital. I had lost 50 pounds before I awoke in the
Intensive Care Unit, with tubes coming out of most of
my orifices, with IVs in both arms." I continued
telling her, "Essentially it's a perfect diet, and
that the way that it works is to load your pants
pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry, and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
again."
By now, practically everyone standing in the line was
completely captivated with my story, particularly the
tall guy standing behind the woman.
Completely horrified, the woman asked "Were you
poisoned the last time?"
I told her "No, I was sitting in the street licking my
balls, when a car hit me!"
The tall guy stumbled out the door in complete
laughter!