gran Posted November 3, 2007 Report Posted November 3, 2007 Clean can be funny. >> >>One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a >>very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do >>anything you want.' >> >> >>So he tied her up and went golfing. >> >> ***************************************** >> A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran >>into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her >>lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' >> The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or >>mountain stuff?' >>'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.' >> >> >> >> >> ******************************************** >> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, >>and the other is a husband. >> >> >> >> >>************************************* >> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's >>license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The >>optician showed him a card with the letters >> >> >> 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician >>asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.' >> >> >> ************************************ *********** >> Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I >>must tell you all something. >>We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.' >>'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. >>'I'm so tired of chardonnay. >> >> >> >> >> ******************************************** >> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. >> >>Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, >>'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too >>many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more >>butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're >>going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER >>listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are >>you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You >>know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! >>THE SALT!' >> >>The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You >>think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' >> >>The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it >>feels like when I'm driving.' >> >> >> >> >>*************************************************************** >> Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, >>was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the >>Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off >>all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a >>toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his >>teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army >>has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
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