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Italiano comes to the US of A


EuroTimez

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Luigi gets home to Italy from his holiday in California. He is very depressed, and his friend

Alfonso asks him, "What's the matter? You no like-a California?"

"Mama mia!" replies Luigi.

"What a nightmare!

I go-a to California and stay at the Pope and Pasta Hotel in Palm Springs. In the morning, I go-a to breakfast. I tell-a the waiter, 'I want two pissis of toast.' He bring-a me only one pisss.

"I say, 'I want-a two pisss. He say, 'Go to the bathroom.' I say, 'You no understand. I

wanna pisss on the plate.' He say, 'You no pisss on the plate, you son-of-a-b!'

"Later, I have-a lunch. The waitress brings me a knife and a spoon, but no fock.

I tell her, 'I wanna fock.'

She tell me, 'Everyone wanna fock.'

I say, 'You no understand, I wanna fock on the table.' She say, 'You no gonna fock on the table, you son-of-a-b!'

"So I go-a back to my hotel room, and there are no shits on my bed. I call-a the manager

and tell him, 'I wanna shitss.' He say, 'Go to the bathroom.' I say, 'You no understand, I

wanna shitss on my bed.' He say, 'You no gonna s h i t on the bed, you son-of-a-b!'

"So, I'm-a finished. I go-a to check out, and the man at the desk say,

'Happy holidays, and peace on you.' "I say, 'pisss on you too, you son-of-a-b, I go-a

home!'"

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Just bad luck. When I went to California, the waitress let me fock her on the table in the end.

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