Packet warnings aqnd instructions

[FxrAndy]

On a Sears hairdryer:

....Do not use while sleeping.

(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:

....You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

"Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:

Found these on a german gen forum,

"Not to be used for the other use."

(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

"Do not a ttemept to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)