A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress
Party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg
so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few
days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted
handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you
will be just right as a Pirate.
The man thinks this is terrible because they emphasized his disability,
so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he received
another parcel.
Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find a monk's habit.
The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you
will really look the part.
The man is extremely furious now, because the company has gone from
emphasizing his wooden let to drawing attention to his bald head. So he
writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a
very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of
Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your [censored]
and go as a toffee apple
JTB