Hero?

[jkerouac]

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a Chicago Park when a crazed Rottweiler suddenly attacks one of the boys. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it and breaks the dog's neck, saving his friend.

A reporter is standing by, sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Cub Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Cubs fan," the little boy replies. "Sorry, but since we're in Chicago, I just assumed you were," says the reporter and starts writing again.

"Sox Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook. "But I'm not a Sox fan either," the little boy replies. "Sorry, but since we're in Chicago, I just assumed you were," says the reporter and starts writing a gain.

"Bears Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook. "I'm not a Bears fan either," says the boy. "Oh... I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Cubs, Sox or Bears. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Colts fan," the boy replies. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:

"Little Bastard From Indiana Kills Beloved Family Pet!"

[Virgil Hilts]

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a Chicago Park when a crazed Rottweiler suddenly attacks one of the boys. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it and breaks the dog's neck, saving his friend.

A reporter is standing by, sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Cub Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Cubs fan," the little boy replies. "Sorry, but since we're in Chicago, I just assumed you were," says the reporter and starts writing again.

"Sox Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook. "But I'm not a Sox fan either," the little boy replies. "Sorry, but since we're in Chicago, I just assumed you were," says the reporter and starts writing a gain.

"Bears Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook. "I'm not a Bears fan either," says the boy. "Oh... I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Cubs, Sox or Bears. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Colts fan," the boy replies. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:

"Little Bastard From Indiana Kills Beloved Family Pet!"

Nice. I'll be sure to tell that one in Miami because...I'M GOING TO THE GAME, BABY!!! GO BEARS!!!!!

Yes, I'm freaking out.