TwoTone Posted May 5, 2007 Report Share Posted May 5, 2007 For The Weekend I vow: I will drink myself into a stupor from which there is no easy recovery... This stupor will involve most things associated with the standard stupor, but will also include many things that have never even been imagined by the most creative minds of this, or any other time... The stupor will contain a vortex from which no sensible blatherings may escape. Only the blatherings of the insane will be allowed to exit the vortex and become part of the all-encompassing stupor... Should the stupor become dangerous, there will be no safety devices in place for the protection of the brain. I will take my chances... There will be spinning, flashing, colored lights contained within the pulsating walls of the Super Stupor... These lights will disorient me and most likely cause violent vomiting reactions... Should purging take place, no one will be safely out of range, including people in China. (These people will most certainly be held within the stupor)... This vomiting will be blamed not on the nectar of the gods, but rather on the greasy pizza which is always consumed in mass quantities during the imbibing leading up to the stupor... In this stupor, I will: drool, babble, walk in circles, speak to trees, love everyone, hate everyone, then love everyone again, sing, churn butter, drive somewhere really fast, repeat myself endlessly, speak louder with each drink, repeat myself, go cross-eyed, have sexual relations with fat women, repeat myself, and pass out... I will then wake and begin on Tuesday's stupor... At this point I will be unaware that Tuesday's stupor is merely a continuation of the original stupor and no real time has actually passed... The stupor may be misconstrued as an x-files episode. If this is the case, I will be Mulder and he will be in a stupor... While in this stupor I will most likely fall down a lot. This is to be expected, and is not a problem. Problems arise when the landing area(s) is hazardous. However, this is also irrelevant due to the fact that the stupor has made me not only unaware of danger, but at the same time impervious to it... I can fly in the stupor. I also will become invisible and accomplish feats only invisible people are able to do... The stupor may cause the onset of severe lethargy. Should this happen, I will become lethargic until music or a native Indian chant of some sort revives me. At this point the stupor will, against the known laws of thermodynamics, perpetuate itself, and therefore will continue for a really, really long time... Yeha! This is my vow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdo2milger Posted May 5, 2007 Report Share Posted May 5, 2007 how did i know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raijor Posted May 5, 2007 Report Share Posted May 5, 2007 I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. I'll lift one to ya this weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dluddy Posted May 5, 2007 Report Share Posted May 5, 2007 Uh.....celebrating Cinco de Mayo in Cabo TT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyndonville Posted May 5, 2007 Report Share Posted May 5, 2007 Dude, has the wife given you your "Honey Do" list yet? If not she will and your vow will be out the door. Tomorrow morning start by going to the gas station to buy more gas for the lawn mower. Oh, and have you been told the tomorrow is drap and blinds washing day? Yep, and tomorrow night you get to rehang them all. Just giving you a heads up as to what's really in store for you. BTW, the two things above are just for starters......... Tim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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