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More musings and ramblings of a middle aged man


KB

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* Can you cry under water?

* How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

* Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

* Once you're in heaven, do you spend eternity stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in?

* Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

* What disease did cured ham actually have?

* How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

* Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies often wake up every two hours?

* If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

* Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

* Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

* Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

* Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

* Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

* Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

* If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

* Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

* If Wile E Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

* Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

* Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

* Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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