The Difference Between A Physicist, A Biologist And A Mathematician

[Nanuq]

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting at a sidewalk cafe enjoying the scenery, when they spot a couple walking into a building across the street.

A short while later, the couple reappears along with a third person.

The physicist observes "That couple entered the building, went into a wormhole and encountered a duplicate of one of themselves from a parallel universe, who has come out with them."

The biologist says "You silly man, they have obviously reproduced while in that building!"

The mathematician muses "You know, if one more person goes into that building, it will be empty..."

[premiumdesigners]

A businessman needed to employ a quantitative type person.

He wasn't sure if he should get a mathematician, an engineer,

or an applied mathematician. As it happened, all the

applicants were male. The businessman devised a test.

The mathematician came first. Miss How, the administrative

assistant took him into the hall. At the end of the hall,

lounging on a couch, was a beautiful woman. Miss How said,

"You may only go half the distance at a time. When you

reach the end, you may kiss our model."

The mathematician explained how he would never get there in

a finite number of iterations and politely excused himself.

Then came the engineer. He quickly bounded halfway down the

hall, then halfway again, and so on. Soon he declared he was

well within accepted error tolerance and grabbed the beautiful

woman and kissed her.

Finally it was the applied mathematician's turn. Miss How

explained the rules. The applied mathematician listened

politely, then grabbed Miss How and gave her a big smooch.

"What was that about?" she cried.

"Well, you see I'm an applied mathematician. If I can't

solve the problem, I change it!"

[Guest Pierre de Fermat]

Ridiculous! This is easily demonstrated by my theorem.

Merde! The things you Yanks will do for pleasure.