swdivad Posted July 16, 2008 Report Share Posted July 16, 2008 1. If You're Choking On An Ice Cube, Simply Pour A Cup Of Boiling Water Down Your Throat. Presto! The Blockage Will Instantly Remove Itself. 2. Avoid Cutting Yourself When Slicing Vegetables By Getting Someone Else To Hold The Vegetables While You Chop. 3. Avoid Arguments With The Females About Lifting The Toilet Seat By Using The Sink. 4. For High Blood Pressure Sufferers ~ Simply Cut Yourself And Bleed For A Few Minutes, Thus Reducing The Pressure On Your Veins. Remember To Use A Timer. 5. A Mouse Trap Placed On Top Of Your Alarm Clock Will Prevent You From Rolling Over And Going Back To Sleep After You Hit The Snooze Button. 6. If You Have A Bad Cough, Take A Large Dose Of Laxatives. Then You'll Be Afraid To Cough. 7. You Only Need Two Tools In Life - Wd-40 And Duct Tape. If It Doesn't Move And Should, Use The Wd-40. If It Shouldn't Move And Does, Use The Duct Tape... 8. Remember - Everyone Seems Normal Until You Get To Know Them. 9. If You Can't Fix It With A Hammer, You've Got An Electrical Problem. Daily Thought: Som e People Are Like Slinkies - Not Really Good For Anything But They BringA Smile To Your Face When Pushed Down The Stairs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samurai Posted July 16, 2008 Report Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hillarious..... 4. For High Blood Pressure Sufferers ~ Simply Cut Yourself And Bleed For A Few Minutes, Thus Reducing The Pressure On Your Veins. Remember To Use A Timer. >>>>> never use a 7750 based watch for this :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish Posted July 16, 2008 Report Share Posted July 16, 2008 (edited) 7. You Only Need Two Tools In Life - Wd-40 And Duct Tape. If It Doesn't Move And Should, Use The Wd-40. If It Shouldn't Move And Does, Use The Duct Tape... 7a. Remember you can always use WD40 to remove duct tape traces. 10. Maintenance is the useless practice of repairing something that isn Edited July 16, 2008 by Fish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FxrAndy Posted July 16, 2008 Report Share Posted July 16, 2008 Thanks for the smile guys, last night i fxxxed up a $500 rear brake on my bike and have been fed up, so the smile was needed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fakemaster Posted July 18, 2008 Report Share Posted July 18, 2008 The perfect diet. Stop eating so much you fat bastard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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