=: Medical Musings :=

[KB]

The following quotes from actual medical records dictated by physicians appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, PhD, for the Journal of Court Reporting.

* By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

* Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

* On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

* She has had no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

* The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

* I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.

* Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

* I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

* The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

* Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

* The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr Blank to dispose of him.

* Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old female, mentally alert but forgetful.

* The patient refused an autopsy.

* The patient has no past history of suicides.

* The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

* Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

* Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

* The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

* She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

* The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

* The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaint.

Ken

The following little official bit is for Pugwash and Cornerstone.

[source: ICD Coding Newsletter http://www.health.vic.gov.au/hdss/archive/...et/nsl_0497.doc]

[sssurfer]

Great! I love them!

Anyway, those are better -- and they write better -- than most physicians in my country.

Just, the one on suicides is absolutely true. Actually, 90% of suicides don't work -- i.e., 90% of suicides really do not want to put an end to their life.