Just In: Terrorist Arrested Boarding Plane At Jfk

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NY-AP-Fox

Department of Homeland Security officials, along

with federal agents arrested an individual today

at New York's Kennedy airport.

The individual, whose name has not been released and was

later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board

a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square,

a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a mid-day press conference shortly after the arrest,

Secretary Of Defense Donald Rumsfeld

along with other top White House & DHS officials

believes the man is a member of the notorious

Al-Gebra movement. He is being

charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math

instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, " Rumsfeld said. They

desire average solutions by means and extremes,

and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of

absolute value.

They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and

refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a

common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As

the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every

triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush

said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He

would have given us more fingers and toes."

For more details on this fast-breaking story, stay tuned to your local FOX News channel.

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