My Next Life

[jdavis]

My Next Life

I want to live my next life backwards!

You start out dead and get that out of the way

Right off the bat.

Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better

Every day. When you are kicked out of the home for being too

healthy, you spend several years enjoying your

retirement and collecting benefit checks.

When you start work, you get a gold watch on your

First day.

You work 35-40 years or so, getting younger every day

Until pretty soon you're too young to work.

So then, you go to college and then high school: play sports, date,

Drink, and party.

As you get even younger, you become a kid again.

You go to elementary school, play, and have no

Responsibilities.

In a few years, you become a baby and everyone

Runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully

In luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating,

Room service on tap.

Until finally... You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

[greg_r]

There's another way of looking as this:

You start off dead. Enjoy the peace as it's the last you're going to get.

You wake up in a Nursing home. You pee yourself several times a day.

You gradually get to where you stop peeing yourself so you get kicked out.

You spend several years wishing you'd paid more into your retirement fund.

The gold watch you are given on your first day at work is Chinese.

You work 35-40 years or so, earning less money each year.

Your kids change from adults back into teenagers, with all the whining that ensues.

You finally become young enough to get back into school and are promptly beaten up by the school bully.

You have to learn algebra. Again.

You start peeing yourself. Again.

You spend 9 months floating in comfort, true, but the noise of stomach rumbling and farting keeps you awake

You finish off as "are you finished already?"

Edited September 19, 2008 by greg_r