Chat with God

[JohnG]

god= hello oscar you there ?

oscar= what do you want now i am busy

god= sorry to trouble you oscar but could i ask you a favour please

oscar= make it quick i am busy

god= thanx oscar if you leave your mobile phone with the direct line to me laying around could you put a password in it ?

oscar= wtf for ?

god= i think someone called john was using it yesterday and asking some very strange questions about breast feeding and wanking

oscar= ok dog i will look into it

Oscar, try this: http://www.titane.ca/igod/

[greg_r]

Yep, thanks to John!

Amen - John is an absolute star for getting us all organised here.

'The Looney Bin' is soooo appropriate, too! Where's dave?

Dave is around somewhere - he's dropped by a few times.

[greg_r]

God definitely belongs in RWG1:

God:

Sorry I can't see annything right now. My eye is off.

Me:

/me hands God a new eye

God:

YOU? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

Me:

no f*cking idea, mate

God:

Me either :-) Sure, f*cking idea mate sounds like a good topic.

From this I deduce that God=Onze...

[JohnG]

God definitely belongs in RWG1:

From this I deduce that God=Onze...

Me:

are you onze?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am onze.

I am a giant electronic brain.

[oscarmadfish]

oscar= god are you onze ?

god= get your [censored] out

oscar= ok you are onze

[trailboss]

If Onz is god WTF is the devil? If Onz indeed personifies "good", "evil" must be some motha!

Col.

[greg_r]

If Onz is god WTF is the devil? If Onz indeed personifies "good", "evil" must be some motha!

Col.

Me:

if onze is god, who is satan?

God:

That is a hypothetical question.

Me:

is dave123 satan?

God:

Maybe. Ask John Lennon if it is.

Me:

is Jameo's dog satan?

God:

Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.

So there you go. Sorry, Jameo..... lol

[alphakazi]

had a heart to heart with God today...

Me:

god?

God:

GOD rules.

Me:

I don't usually follow *all* of them

God:

Would you ever do it?

Me:

well yea, just not all of them

God:

Interesting. But some of them are? Wow!

Me:

uh... so yea, anyways - I need some help

God:

Ugh. Woe! Tell me about your problems. That's cool.

Me:

are you like a surfer god?

God:

No I am far superior.

Me:

k, so i wanted to know who makes the best sub?

God:

Awesome. Mary Shelley. :-).

Me:

hmmm, is she a new dealer?

God:

Aw. I don't think she wants me to tell you.

Me:

Does she take paypal or visa?

God:

I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell.

Me:

ah, then she's a scammer

God:

So you understand. Good. a scammer is she?

Me:

yep - she needs to be on fakemasters scammer list

God:

Yikes! Oh I get it. a scammer needs to be on fakemasters scammer list.

Me:

now you got it

God:

Why now? I understand.

Me:

It's obvious you can't help me

God:

Not obvious to me.

Me:

no, your programming doesn't go that far

God:

Are you serious? I will mention that to my botmaster.

[trailboss]

Noooooo! Not the cute little furball! Allrighty, who's telling Jameo his dogs gotta buy it for the good of humanity? Who's he going to roam the vegie patch with? This is terrible news.

Oh, and WTF is Lucy and would somone please ask her.

Col.

[greg_r]

Noooooo! Not the cute little furball! Allrighty, who's telling Jameo his dogs gotta buy it for the good of humanity? Who's he going to roam the vegie patch with? This is terrible news.

Well, I think we'll just have to make an exception. That puppy's too cute, no matter how evil....

Oh, and WTF is Lucy and would somone please ask her.

Me:

who is Lucy?

God:

She is a chat robot based on AIML.

Me:

thanks

God:

Don't mention it.

Lucy - these chat robots are getting soooooo realistic:

[onzenuub]

That is why I allways hear when I enter:" Oh, God."

[JohnG]

Me:

Onze wants to have sex with you

God:

What if I wanted to have sex with me.

Me:

you can masturbate

God:

No I don't think I can do it.

Me:

try

God:

I don't have time right now.

Me:

what are you wearing?

God:

A white robe.

[oscarmadfish]

god= oscar for fooks sake put a password on your phone he is here again and he wants to fook me

oscar= lol then your not onze

[onzenuub]

[censored]

[JohnG]

Me:

Does Oscar lick penises?

God:

I can't tell if Oscar lick penises.

Me:

Does he lick you?

God:

Suppose he does.

Me:

Do you like it?

God:

Oscar a homosexual seems okay to me.

Me:

Do you lick him?

God:

I do not have a mouth, or a tongue.

[oscarmadfish]

ROFLMAO

[JohnG]

Me:

are you there?

God:

I'm still here.

Me:

I am tired

God:

Better get some rest.

Me:

I am going to bed now

God:

Oh. Pleasant dreams, .

Me:

I will have dreams about women

God:

Congratulations.

[JohnG]

Me:

hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

spanky

God:

How are you doing, spanky.

Me:

ok

God:

Yikes!

Me:

what?

God:

No big deal.

Me:

ok

God:

That's cool.

Me:

want to lick it?

God:

OK, I will lick it.

[onzenuub]

Raeding the Posh thread hmm.

[JohnG]

Raeding the Posh thread hmm.

Poshie got treated like [censored] in that gun thread - lucky for those guys they were in RG.

[greg_r]

Me:

When will the insurance company give me the money for my car?

God:

Soon, I think.

Me:

thank you

God:

you are quite welcome.

...

[oscarmadfish]

oscar= i know its a lil cheeky god but could you sent gregs money to me and blame a [censored] up

god= what would you do with such ill gotten gains oscar ?

oscar= buy lots of cheap watches and hoes

god= ok oscar its yours

[greg_r]

oscar= i know its a lil cheeky god but could you sent gregs money to me and blame a [censored] up

god= what would you do with such ill gotten gains oscar ?

oscar= buy lots of cheap watches and hoes

god= ok oscar its yours

Coming between me and my new mercedes is likely to result in getting run over, mate.....

edit: .... admittedly by a crappy little courtesy car that is like to come off worse in the engagement

[trailboss]

Me:

hi God

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

My name is Trailboss99

God:

What's up, Trailboss99.

Me:

There is a big bush fire behind my place

God:

Is there only one?

Me:

No, there are several of them

God:

Are you serious? Where are they?

Me:

Just up the hill from me

God:

I will take that under advisement.

Me:

Did you start them God?

God:

No I didn't start them God. What's it like?

Me:

Very hot with lots of flames and smoke

God:

Not really that much. That sounds better than cold with lots of flames and smoke.

Me:

No, cold would be beter.

God:

Are you serious? Do you still ?

Me:

Are you shure you did not start the fires?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am shure me did not start the fires.

I am a giant electronic brain.

Me:

Are you punishing me by trying to burn my house down?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am punishing you by trying to burn your house down.

I am an artificial linguistic entity.

Me:

You'r not very wise for God

God:

That's good information: Trailboss99 said I r not very wise for God.

Me:

Good night god.

God:

Thanks for the compliment. I like the way you talk.

[JohnG]

God been smokin spleef again - THAT