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Rolex announces abrupt end to "A Crown for every Acheivement" campaign - announces new guidelines for ownership...


rscmaine

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Rolex Watch Company today announced the end of their long running advertising campaign "A Crown for Every Achievement" citing widespread misinterpretation of the phrase by the general public.

A company spokesman explained the company's reasons, along with their new guidelines in a statement to the press this afternoon in Geneva.

"It has come to our attention that many individuals have been buying Rolex watches to commemorate "achievements" which are not in keeping with the traditions embodied in our brand, and this practise must end.

"We refer specifically to the recent purchase of a Two Tone Submariner with Blue Dial and Bezel by one Sheldon Finklestein of Passaic New Jersey, USA after his recent promotion to "Assistant Regional Manager" for the Sleepy Bye Mattress Company. While we are sure that Mr. Finklestein's mother is quite proud of him, this is hardly the sort of "achievement" that qualifies one for ownership of such a timepiece.

"Rolex agents have visited Mr. Finklestein at his place of employment today and retrieved the watch in question.

"Additionally, it will no longer be acceptable to purchase one of our watches because your divorce has been finalized and "That [censored] didn't get everything."

"Rolex is instituting an application process to prevent similar innapropriate purchases in the future. All prospective Rolex buyers shall now be required to submit an explanation of the "achievement" they are attempting to commemorate, in essay form. All essays will be reviewed by the Rolex board of directors at their annual meeting in Geneva each September and those selected will be notified.

"The Board shall also review every application carefully to determine which model most appropriately reflects the applicants achievement, and only that model may be purchased or worn by that applicant.

All decisions of the board shall be final."

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