vandal.tbh Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 (edited) One of my favorites... A guy walks into a bar, looks around and sees a pretty young girl sitting by herself. He buys her a drink and introduces himself. They begin to talk and have some friendly conversation. The conversation gets personal and he asks her if she'd ever been seriously involved with a man. She tells him "Yes, I was married once, but it didn't work out." "What happened?" he replied. "Well, I was into kinky sex and he just couldn't handle it. It became a troublesome point in our marriage and eventually led to our divorce" she explained. "My God" he exclaimed, "I'm also into kinky sex and it too caused the divorce of me and my wife!" Their conversation progressed and eventually they left the bar and went to her place. Once inside, she gave him a wry smile and said "I'm going to put on something a little less comfortable." She went into her bedroom and adorned herself in a skin-tight latex body suit, knee-high patent leather boots, a mask, and then grabbed a worn leather riding crop. Filled with excitement, she strode out of the bedroom only to find him walking out the front door. "Hey, where are you going? I thought we were going to have kinky sex?" she asked. He looked at her and in a matter-of-fact tone, said "well, I just F'd your cat and took a $ht in your purse....I think I'm pretty much done here." Edited February 8, 2012 by vandal.tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wat44 Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torobravo Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgtguk Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Limestone Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 Needed a laugh today.. Thanks mate.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgtguk Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 Try this one.... So this Drover walks into the bar with his pet croc by his side He puts the crocodile up on the bar and he turns to the astonished patrons, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my **** unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers,and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really,really hard on the top of its head The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.' A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly Spoke up.......... 'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wat44 Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 outstanding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travis29 Posted March 22, 2012 Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 That is very funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxman Posted March 22, 2012 Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 Good stuff guys....thanks for the Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asciwhite Posted March 22, 2012 Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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