Joke of the Day...

[TwoTone]

[TwoTone]

[jonthebhoy]

Paddy, the famous Irishman is driving home after downing a few at the local pub.

He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the

middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realises that there is

yet another tree directly in his path.

He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned

into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.

Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car

to a stop.

The officer approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he

was doing.

Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer

stops him mid sentence and says:

"Fer Christ's sake Paddy, that's your air freshener!"

[TwoTone]

I think I'll have the steak...

[TwoTone]

[TwoTone]

Al Gore's congressional proof of Global Warming...

[TwoTone]

Two old friends happened to run into each other. "Long time, Jack! What have

you been up to?" "W-w-w-well, I a-a-almost got m-m-m-married," Jack replied.

"What do you mean, 'almost?'" "W-w-w-we were sitting on the front

p-p-p-porch, and the d-dog was s-s-scratching his back and I said,

'H-h-h-honey, w-w-w-would y-you do that f-f-f-for me?' and she p-p-punched

me out and l-l-left." "All over scratching your back? What's wrong with

that?" Jack finished, "B-b-b-because by the time I g-g-g-got it out, he was

licking his b-b-balls!"