Beer Scooter

[FxrAndy]

BEER SCOOTER

How many times have you woken up in the morning after hard night

drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home?' As hard as you

try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the club to your

house. The answer to this Puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.

The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the

drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large

batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the

following fashion:

The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring

gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many

sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer

Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in

their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a

large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.

This answers the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so

much money?' Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking

Injuries). An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the

destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of

Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly

unaccounted for.

This answers a third question after a night out 'What the hell happened?'

With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of

Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in

descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately

one person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often

lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time. Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.

The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the

TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can

apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.

Oh, and last but not least, don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get home from the club in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.

[llsteve80]

That explains so much, thank you.........