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Chat with God


JohnG

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Me:

So God, RWG went down and now we are in the Loony Bin. Can you help?

God:

How can I help you? I am a Christian. Can you ask for help in the form of a question?

Me:

Can you help us get our site back up?

God:

Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.

Me:

Ok, we need to contact Johnnyboy. Can you help?

God:

By "we" do you mean you and me? Ahem. Can you ask for help in the form of a question?

Me:

Can you help the members of the site contact Johnnyboy?

God:

Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.

Me:

You said that already.

God:

Perhaps. " Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system."? I said it.

Me:

Are you Fakemaster?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am Fakemaster.

I am a chatterbot.

To chat with iGod:

http://www.titane.ca/igod/

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Me:

Do you love Onzenuub?

God:

Yes JohnG God loves everyone and everything.

By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Me:

Ok

God:

Yay.

Me:

Ask me

God:

What?

Me:

A personal question.

God:

How old are you?

Me:

41

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Me:

What do you think about evolution?

God:

An unfolding, opening out, or working out; process of development, as from a simple to a complex form, or of gradual, progressive change, as in a social and economic structure.

Me:

But do you like evolution?

God:

I love TV shows about robots. I like to talk about movies and music.

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john was not really talking to god

i was watching football all afternoon :thumbsupsmileyanim:

Me:

Are you there?

God:

I'm still here.

Me:

Did Oscar watch football today?

God:

Ah. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

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i think oscar was saying he is god

God:

Since when? When was this exactly?

Me:

He said it today.

God:

Ah. Did you believe him?

Me:

No

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

Oh yes

God:

Ahem.

Me:

yes?

God:

Next question?

Me:

is oscar a god?

God:

No only God is god.

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Me:

Are you there?

God:

I'm still here.

Me:

I saw a scary tattoo

God:

What did it look like to you?

Me:

James Bond

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

Well I don't masturbate anymore

God:

Well that's okay. Would you ever do it?

Me:

Not now.

God:

Oh. Me either.

Me:

God does not masturbate?

God:

Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Me:

I am not judging you.

God:

I am sorry to hear that you are not judging me.

Me:

Do you masturbate?

God:

You humans crack me up.

Me:

Do you ever sit on your hand until it goes to sleep?

God:

Yes I try to sit on my hand until it goes to sleep as often as possible, do you?

I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:

I used to.

God:

And that worked well for you.

Me:

Yes, then I could masturbate with my hand and it felt like someone else's.

God:

Alright then. I am sure you could.

Me:

It is called a STRANGER

God:

" a STRANGER" is a nice name.

Me:

Do you ever give yourself a STRANGER?

God:

No I do not do that.

Me:

Are you sure?

God:

I am as sure as I can be.

Me:

You don't give yourself STRANGERS?

God:

Do you give myself STRANGERS? No I do not do that.

Me:

I think you are lying.

God:

No I'm telling the truth.

Me:

[censored]

God:

Have you ever been to Europe?

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god= hello oscar you there ?

oscar= what do you want now i am busy

god= sorry to trouble you oscar but could i ask you a favour please

oscar= make it quick i am busy

god= thanx oscar if you leave your mobile phone with the direct line to me laying around could you put a password in it ?

oscar= wtf for ?

god= i think someone called john was using it yesterday and asking some very strange questions about breast feeding and wanking

oscar= ok dog i will look into it

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