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Advice from a psychologist, please


TeeJay

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Well,,,just ran this by my wife (a clinical psychologist) and she gave me the typical "things are never simple and you need to see a therapist to get any meaningful answers", but she did also say something like "did you ever get lost as a child?",,,which could be interesting. My take is that all fear,,,and I seriously mean all fear and anxiety stems from the egos fear that it will one day disappear into the nothingness it once was (sorry if that sounds dramatic). All peace comes from losing one's identification with the ego but this is difficult because in the west we are all taught that our ego (our personal individual self, history, soical status, etc) is all there is but that is just MHO.....

and btw,,,,from your statement above,,,doesn't seem too serious since most psychologists would draw a line between issues that doen't interfear with your life and those that do.....at least your doesn't.

Great response, Chris. I think you're spot-on with the idea of ego and the West. And I do think the OP's problem has to do with a fear of being "lost" or misplaced in some way, and likely has to do with something from childhood. But, who really knows... best explored with a good therapist.

Good luck.

RSM

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No, I haven't finally flipped my lid, folks, I'm just hoping a psychologist might be able to give me some help with the name of a particular phobia/compulsion.

Let me set the scene:

For as long as I can remember, I have felt compelled to wear identification of some kind (ID bracelets, dog-tags etc) as I have always had a dread of being unidentified, or, more precisely, being unidentifiable post-mortem. It's not a case of being worried about being 'forgotten by history', or not 'leaving my mark on the world', that doesn't bother me in the slightest, but the idea of winding up a 'John Doe' really bothers me. (Not enough that I experience any anxiety or panic, but enough that I feel compelled to wear identification) I haven't worn an ID bracelet since I was a child, but, I do wear dog-tags with my details on (as would be the case with military-issued dog-tags) This isn't a case of going for the 'military-chic' look, or wanting to look like some kind of tough guy, it is literally just a case of wanting to be identifiable, and they are the easiest means to that end.

My question, is is there a name for this phobia/compulsion?

Thanks in advance :)

In Canada everybody is somehow ill (even me; its very lucrative, we have socialized healthcare, our government pays for sick leave and there are lots of benefits). In fact I have a friend who has been off work on disability because he has some kind of "stress induced anxiety" which basically means he gets stressed when there is lots of work to do and deadlines to meet... ah the public service...

Anyway, back to the point, if i were a Canadian physician I would say you are experiencing a hybrid of thanato-mono-phobia. Then I would write you a prescription for god knows what because hey... the taxpayer will cover it!!!

B)

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Lol@ intel inside tattoo!!

As a large collector of ink (as well as watches, sunglasses, jewellery, etc, etc I have WAY too many collections!! Think I may be forced to join the Dtags collectors too! I alread have 7 sets!!)

Sorry, back to the question at hand, ink is the way to go!! As you are getting the ink think about the reason you are getting it, maybe get it in a slightly more uncomfortable place (it is only uncomfortable, it's not the pain fest people have you believe!!) that way the reason stays with you longer. I have done this with a couple of my pieces and it works!!

I'm also a tattoo collector of sorts, but I'm pretty set about what ones I want, and that's a traditional Japanese bodysuit :) As for an artist, I only ever go to the same artist in my home town :)

If you're thinking of getting into dog tag collecting, I saw some tags on eBay you might like. They're Russian tags, which appear enamal plated and pretty cool. I recon a few of those would be a fine start to any collection :)

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Great response, Chris. I think you're spot-on with the idea of ego and the West. And I do think the OP's problem has to do with a fear of being "lost" or misplaced in some way, and likely has to do with something from childhood. But, who really knows... best explored with a good therapist.

Good luck.

RSM

Indeed, I think we've got to a potential root cause, so that's me happy :)

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In Canada everybody is somehow ill (even me; its very lucrative, we have socialized healthcare, our government pays for sick leave and there are lots of benefits). In fact I have a friend who has been off work on disability because he has some kind of "stress induced anxiety" which basically means he gets stressed when there is lots of work to do and deadlines to meet... ah the public service...

Anyway, back to the point, if i were a Canadian physician I would say you are experiencing a hybrid of thanato-mono-phobia. Then I would write you a prescription for god knows what because hey... the taxpayer will cover it!!!

B)

We have a similar system here in the UK, but changes in government policy means that anyone claiming benefits for health reasons, is still expected to try to seek some level of work if possible (not particularly helpful to anyone with a stress-related condition) but probably a better way to get help finding a new job than just reading the classified pages :lol:

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Nothing strange IMO. People wear DTags for good reason. Some time ago I would wear multiples. Nothing to do with me really, I just hoped if something happened, some chunk of me would make it home to be dressed up and shoved in the bottom of a jar. Having seen a few messy scenes I can tell you that the body is fragile and doesn't always hold up to extreme forces. (not to get too gross) If you live in, or travel to an area that goes out of the way figure out what chunk belongs where than don't worry about it but that isn't the norm in all places. Even if you lose your wallet while being "done in' it is up to someone else to care. Often times they don't.

Get yourself a DNA test and keep it in a safe place. If you travel to a 3rd world country, get yourself tatooed, chipped or carve your phone number into your chest. It doesn't mean you're off unless you put the markings in freaky places. ;) That would be a little odd. :D

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Lol, I was just about to say that route isn't much good to us Brit's these days!!!

Very cool TJ, good Trad body suits are a rare breed these days!! What artist do you use?

As for the tags, it was just a boring day working ( before I fell ill and went blind, but after I broke my back in a total of 4 places and had my right leg paralysed, I know the british health system all too well!! lol) and I found some cool looking tags with a couple of diamonds in them, one was slver the other was black enamaled. Bought instantly, then saw two other pairs I liked on another site, which were similer but different ( ie, they look the same! lol) and it seemed I started a collection before I knew it! We should totally start a side collectors on here for other forms of jewellery, which includes sunnies!! :clown:

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Nothing strange IMO. People wear DTags for good reason. Some time ago I would wear multiples. Nothing to do with me really, I just hoped if something happened, some chunk of me would make it home to be dressed up and shoved in the bottom of a jar. Having seen a few messy scenes I can tell you that the body is fragile and doesn't always hold up to extreme forces. (not to get too gross) If you live in, or travel to an area that goes out of the way figure out what chunk belongs where than don't worry about it but that isn't the norm in all places. Even if you lose your wallet while being "done in' it is up to someone else to care. Often times they don't.

Get yourself a DNA test and keep it in a safe place. If you travel to a 3rd world country, get yourself tatooed, chipped or carve your phone number into your chest. It doesn't mean you're off unless you put the markings in freaky places. ;) That would be a little odd. :D

Just the mention of 'extreme forces' conjured up some pretty grim scenarios, but it still got a chuckle out of me :lol:

If I could find a way of getting a chip implanted, even if just as a back up, I think I would, but I wouldn't have a clue where best to try enquiring, without them thinking I'm crazy :lol:

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Lol, I was just about to say that route isn't much good to us Brit's these days!!!

Very cool TJ, good Trad body suits are a rare breed these days!! What artist do you use?

As for the tags, it was just a boring day working ( before I fell ill and went blind, but after I broke my back in a total of 4 places and had my right leg paralysed, I know the british health system all too well!! lol) and I found some cool looking tags with a couple of diamonds in them, one was slver the other was black enamaled. Bought instantly, then saw two other pairs I liked on another site, which were similer but different ( ie, they look the same! lol) and it seemed I started a collection before I knew it! We should totally start a side collectors on here for other forms of jewellery, which includes sunnies!! :clown:

I've always gone to an artist called Danny Fuller. Really old school, really nice guy. Even with the expences of travelling back to see him, I wouldn't let any other artist work on me :)

I'm liking the idea of something relating to jewellery collections. I just took a mental count, and I've already got quite a collection of DTags:

One set of Earth and Surf tags, one with the company logo, the other with 'a way of life' on it.

One black tag (US issue style, but black coated)

One set of laser etched tags based on the tags worn by the colonial marines in Aliens.

A Canadian dog tag like the one worn by Hugh Jackman in X-Men

Two corporate tags, for a company called 'Viper' who produce tactical equipment like vests, holdalls etcetera

On order, are the set inspired by Space: Above and Beyond, a set of circular British Forces issue DTags, and a pair of black, hexagonal pet ID tags, which I'm going to fit with a set of DTag silencers, and it's going to be a toss up between those three sets which I'll wear after I get married, as I'm taking my wife's surname :)

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I've waited until more informed responses chimed in, and it seems they have to your satisfaction T'J. 2p;

To look at it from another perspective, I think your predisposition one of reasonable responsibility, to perhaps, loved ones and significant others? You say you were separated a few times when young. I was as well, to some degree we all have, more than my own predicament, the thought of my parents, especially my mother, frantic was forefront. That is what scared me. Her worry, and perhaps my father's belt? :D Maybe that is what drives the issue (the former)? Consider the recent conclusion to John Walsh's son Adam's murder and disappearance. Those decades without closure must have been hell for those people, certainly the circumstance doesn't apply, but if you can take steps to reconnect you to "where you belong" then they should be taken. Seriously.

I always file flight plans even when not required by regulation (think of Steve Fossett's family!), 'float plans' when boating off-shore alone, check in with Rangers milling around fishing rivers, fill out those wallet cards that come with bill folds, etc., etc. I think it only taking a responsibility and a courtesy to others in the event of tragedy. Not paralleled certainly, but perhaps in the same vein as life insurance, annuities, college funds, financial support for your family in the event. "What do I care? I'll be dead!" Honestly. What normal person thinks like that? Would not consider the lives of those left to deal with the reality of the 'thing'?

I think taking real responsibility, the kind where, if you take a casual attitude, dire circumstances to others would result, should be somewhat unnerving. It's a natural response to ensure you do the right thing, it should nag you until you put it in order . Perhaps if you take these further measures discussed T'J, do all that you can do within reason, then perhaps the urgency will quell. I know I sleep better at night, checking all the locks and handles. Twice if I have to......................

@ Fakemaster

You would be missed. And have been! Not to drag it all up here, but I was sick about all that business 'over there', to the point where I do believe I have 'banned' myself! :lol:

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It's always so good when you find an artist who just "knows" you and exactly what you want!! I have an artist here in Edinburgh called Bill Hooper, he has a rep of being a grumpy old sod, but he has been in the game for over 40 years, and he was the only proper tattooist in Edinburgh at one point and has his shop on leith walk, just up from the old leith docks. So you can imagine what he has had to deal with over the years!! I have always found him to be a great guy, an is now one of my best friends since I've been going there for about 18 years now. ( holy sh*t that just made me feel real old! lol) He just gets what I'm into and always has something thought up for me coming in, my dad goes to him too and has some awesome pieces on him!

We totally should do a side forum for other jewellery, everyone here wears more than watches, and although thats the main theme of the site, surely there is a wee space for complimentery accsessories, ie, everything we have between us that ain't a watch!! :p;) PM me if you get some free time and we can have a chat about it. Sorry for hijacking your thread dude!! lol

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