Ops :)

[Admin]

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the

words back or that you could crawl into a hole? Testimonials of a few

people who did.

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and

asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow-job?" I

turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband

didn't say a word, he knew better.

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes,

I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the

store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, looked at him and

said, "I think I like playing with men's balls.

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold

a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,

the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I

am just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,

the boy grinned and I turned beet-red and walked away. This, my

sister has never let me forget.

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to

release some pent up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after

receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she

did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she

looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you

don't let me go right now, I'll tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's

pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my

dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing

I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?! My

three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I

was on at him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch

in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying

my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my

seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not

asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said

"No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't

have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, did you have an accident?"

"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,

because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny,

did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,

bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled: "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing. He calmly

pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by

thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a

very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely

think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any. A

true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was

supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So

Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE

have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so

hard!

[cc]

lol!! had a good late night laugh.... it's been a while but i've seen this before.

thank you!!

[KB]

Some have done the rounds but still as funny as heck.

Ken

[Admin]

Yeah, I know...oldie, but goldie. Was cleaning out some of my older e-mails when this re-surfaced

[POTR]

Thanks for that one Admin... I needed a laugh.