billywhiz Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others. A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them. ENRON CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so you get all four cows back with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholders who sell the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option to buy one more. Peace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offshore Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Although in the current climate it may be- CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull to build a herd of cows, and find out it's infertile! Offshore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demsey Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Although in the current climate it may be- CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull to build a herd of cows, and find out it's infertile! CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull to build a herd of cows, and find out it's infertile! So you untie an aircraft carrier and sail it out from the Golden Gate to just off-shore the country who has a lot of cows but not the technology nor politico/socio/religious disposition to pull on a teet. I may also be helpful if you can persuade the general population that the 'cows' in the 'other' country want to kill you. In the name of a benevolent God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iceberg1459 Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 ARAB CORPORATION: You have 1000 cows. You sell them to American corporation for a price of two cows and buy yacht,car,women. Life is good. TURKISH CORPORATION: You have no cow. You loan two cows from American corporation. You sell one cow and spend on women. Other cow gets stolen. You loan another two cows from American corporation. You try to milk the cow but you cant so you let an American corporation milk it for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Moocro economics...meh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demsey Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 ARAB CORPORATION: You have 1000 cows. You sell them to American corporation for a price of two cows and buy yacht,car,women. Life is good. TURKISH CORPORATION: You have no cow. You loan two cows from American corporation. You sell one cow and spend on women. Other cow gets stolen. You loan another two cows from American corporation. You try to milk the cow but you cant so you let an American corporation milk it for you lmao Truth is always more funny than fiction. You just can't write this stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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