ASSHAT

[watcher71]

(repost from old RWG...I just felt compelled to repost this one...so I apologize in advance to all those obsessed with post counts and such)

There's no telling where some words come from. Like, for instance, who was the genius that one day said "I'm going to invent the word '[censored]' just so people can scream it at each other while driving down the highway."? Well, for the most part, I'm guessing we will never know how some words came into origin. But I have come up with a clearly outlined history of the greatest word ever, along with definitions and a useful synonyms list.

Part One: The Origins and Spread to the United States

From what I can trace back from archived IRC chats, the term 'asshat' was first used in the large European country of Sweden as an alternative for the word ‘[censored].’ From Sweden, by way of both train and ship, the word found it’s way to the shores of western France, where it was used by a software coder named Louis (LOO-ee) in a telephone conversation with his second cousin in Newfoundland. This great man was responsible for sending this fashionable European word to North America for all children to enjoy!

Once on the North American continent, there was no stopping it’s spread to the states. In a June 2000 memo to US-Canadian Customs agents, they were warned to not let this word slip across the border. At this point the word had such a Canadian backing that there was no way to stop it’s glorious spread. And so, ‘asshat’ was first used in the US by an Inuit man named Pukkeenegak who slipped across the border in his kayak. God bless the Inuit!

Americans were, at first, wary to this new word. They had grown up using ‘[censored],’ ‘assclown,’ (premier in Office Space) and even ‘asshead.’ What was to force them to add yet another word to their vocabulary? The Internet, of course! Using radiocarbon dating, we have determined that some of the first widespread usage of the word ‘asshat’ was in several Kevin Smith fan newsgroups, all located in California. Luckily, there are also Kevin Smith fans in the northeast United States, so the word quickly bounded an entire continent and made it to New York City.

Everyone knows that New York City is a melting pot of culture, drugs, and comedians. The Bamboni family of Brooklyn, NY was the first to use the word ‘asshat’ in common day talk. Donny Bamboni was quoted in July 2001 as telling a cashier at 7-11 to, “put the money in the bag, asshat!” Several scared patrons of this convenience store quickly jumped on planes and flew back home, carrying the word with them. And Donny took the word to Rikers Island, where all the prisoners began using the word in a different context than an insult.

It is feasible to guess that by November, 2001, the word asshat was now in full usage all around the United States. Secretary of State Collin Powell was quoth in early 2002 as saying the following at a State Dinner: (in regards to Usama bin Laden) “We have not yet found that asshat [bin Laden], but we’re sure as hell trying.”

In terms of an age breakdown, it seems that colleges students between the ages of 18-25 most commonly use the word asshat, but children as young as six have been heard using the word. Current demography predicts that by the end of 2003, the word asshat will be a commonly used word among high school students and among the 35-35 year old working class. It also appears that, through misinformation, the word is loosing it’s set definition. The next section will discuss its proper usages.

Part Two: Using Asshat Correctly

Asshat is by no means just a replacement for the word ‘[censored],’ but at the current state of the economy there is no better word to compare it to.

ass·hat

n. slang

1. A thoroughly contemptible, detestable person.

2. Tight fitting underwear

[sny: [censored], asshead, assclown, asswad, asshot, assface, [censored], [censored], whitey tighties]

Part Three: Why Use Asshat?

Quite frankly, there is no better insult in the world than the word asshat. Think about it.

Scenerio 1: You are once again late for work, and the boss decides to chew you out about it. So he finishes his ten minute speech about how you should be prompt every day. Under your breath, you mumble the word 'asshat'. He will look at you puzzled (if the old man even heard you) and ask you what you just said. "Asset," you will reply. "That's a great asset to possess." You just made fun of the guy, and didn't get fired! Asshat to the rescue!

Scenerio 2: You are playing a rousing game of Counter-Strike and some hacker comes in to ruin the fun. Luckily, everyone in the room knows the secret word to repel cheaters. That's right! If you and your fellow teammate continue to call the little [censored] an 'asshat', he will eventually get confused and leave. This strategy will also work at parties, bar mitzfas, and other socal outings.

Asshat is new! Asshat is hip! Asshat is now! We all strive to create a new word for a generation, and this is it, folks! Asshat is something that everyone can come together and celebrate!

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-- compliments of: http://www.confusednation.com/asshat/

[ehtolcad]

absolutely!

[chrgod]

Weird... I guess I am a bit too old.. I leave this new words to the next generation.

[gpuck]

Long live the ASSHAT

That thread went on for days..

Thanks for the memory,

Gpuck

[Undermeman]

[sailadams]

Hey! Did you just call me a lady?

:pg_buttercup: :pg_bubbles: :pg_blossm:

I'm watching you, Scott.

Oh yeah.

[Undermeman]

[Undermeman]

In case he's busy, we can always call...

[Undermeman]

FAILED Asshat attempt.

[jjajh]

Just some athletic guy doing his sretches

Let's hear it from the boys.....

[Undermeman]

[watcher71]

For the record, jf, that is not me. (are you calling me a clown?)

[jjajh]

Scott...

There is a clown in all of us and we all need to let it out to play every so often

[Undermeman]

[watcher71]

I took the red pill

[watcher71]

there is no spoon johnny, and that is where you went wrong...

[jjajh]

One pill makes you larger

And one pill makes you small

And the ones that mother gives you

Don't do anything at all

Go ask Alice

When shes ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits

And you know you're going to fall

Tell them a hookah-Smoking caterpillar

has given you the call

Call Alice when she was just small

When the men on the chess board get up and tell you where to go

And you just had some kind of mushroom

And your mind is moving slow

Go ask Alice

I think she'll know

When logic and proportion

Have fallen SLOPPY dead

And the white knight is talking backwards

And the Red Queen's LOST her head

Remember what the dormouse said

Feed your head

Feed your head

[gran]

Give me more of the juice jeff....

[jjajh]

GG

Where did your funny money go?

Here...let me give you some of mine

[jjajh]

Waiting for the foggy morn when we can sneak up on the Norwegian merchantman laddie

[HAL 2001]

Member jjajh,

I do not understand.

Please guide me to information that I can process.

HAL

[Undermeman]

Here's the answer

[HAL 2001]

I understand.

HAL

[HAL 2001]

I am speechless.

Member/moderator johhnyboy,

What are we looking at?

What is this image?

HAL

[jjajh]

HAL baby

Tron sent me over to show you a good time. He told me you are just full of interesting logic routines and can multitask and multithread at the same time.