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Musings And Thoughts Of A Middle Aged Guy


KB

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Women like silent men; they think they're listening.

It's okay to have nothing to say... unless you're talking.

Should we call real life the Outernet?

Harp: A nude Steinway.

They say dollar bills carry germs on them. Even a germ couldn't live on a dollar these days.

There are three stages of men's hair: parted, unparted and departed.

If you can't see the bright side of life, there's nothing to do but keep polishing the dull side.

Did you ever notice how the word "marriage" is one vocal inflection away from mirage?

Nature does her best to teach us. The more we overeat, the harder she makes it for us to get close to the table.

One very fine thing about real life, it gets my mind off all that suffering on television.

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

There is only one thing worse then the flu season... the tax season. You can recover from the flu.

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year, you'll be surprised at how little you have.

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Or as I say......why is there so much month left at the end of the money......and my bank manager used to say...."you're living on the anticipation of income..."...ah well.....at the end of the day....it'll be dark....( unless you're Nanug...of course..)..!

The best way to look at it is......."how can I be broke......I've got cheques left"....!

Edited by TTK
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The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.

How true.

or as my bank manager once said to me....

"Mr. C I've asked you in to remind you of our relationship in an effort to persuade you to return to the original plan, where you bank with us and not the other way about."

JTB

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Neil has been positively jovial for the past few days....

I wonder what's wrong?

My dear bhoy, one can only make a succulent salmon stretch so far. It is then that one begins to explore additional pastures.

Let me put it this way. The name "Neil" is a homonym for an action, as well.

:winkiss:

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My dear bhoy, one can only make a succulent salmon stretch so far. It is then that one begins to explore additional pastures.

Let me put it this way. The name "Neil" is a homonym for an action, as well.

:winkiss:

It's good of you to take the time to resolve that particular mystery, Miss U.

From what I hear about the weather up the Succulent Salmon's way, you've certainly made the right move: nothing like a little sea, sun, and since it seems to be to your taste.... some King Crab!

Enjoy yourself Dearie, and don't forget your friends here at RWG.... :-)

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  • 3 weeks later...

And a few more musings...

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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It's good of you to take the time to resolve that particular mystery, Miss U.

From what I hear about the weather up the Succulent Salmon's way, you've certainly made the right move: nothing like a little sea, sun, and since it seems to be to your taste.... some King Crab!

Enjoy yourself Dearie, and don't forget your friends here at RWG.... :-)

You are killing me Ry.... :bangin::Jumpy::bleh:

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