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You are very welcome to spend time among compadres here, and wishing you well. While I'm not (yet) an accredited couples therapist* I have a suggestion. Nipple tassles. Nipple tassles while making beans on toast for your wife while topless (you, not wife) has almost no evidence against it showing NOT working!! Could be under-represented in medical literature, but I have access to university journals, and nothing on this. OK, next step. (Keep with me.) Then you need to sing this song like this: https://youtu.be/batxBJ5wGEA?t=45 Step 3. In the same voice shout out. "Why won't you strip my movement?" This may work better in underpants outside of a window. Remember: nipple tassles. Ahh, this can go several ways. If I'm right, and she's been reading all of Ziggy's old tutorials, you'll be winding like butter. *Mostly koalas so far. Totally forgot to add about tassle rotation, sorry. I think clockwise in northern hemisphere, anti-clockwise in southern hemisphere. Back to front if you're left titted and wear your tassles on the other tit, obviously.

Welcome FUBAR! I believe you may know our good friends in life SNAFU and BOHICA!

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