Jump to content
When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.
  • Current Donation Goals

Swimmer Trapped By Beach Balls...


TwoTone

Recommended Posts

It must have took some balls to make that call!!

Cheers Johnkaz. :wacko:

Seriously, how the hell would you explain that "Hello.......yes......I'm stuck........no no, not my feet........my.....my.......sack........no no not that kind of sack, MY sack.....no......GODDAMMIT MY BALLS ARE STUCK!!" :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Seriously, how the hell would you explain that

I would say………………

“There I was on a quiet evening out on my own at a very nice restaurant on my recent holiday in Rimini when I was joined at my table by the most gorgeous deck chair I have ever seen in my life. Her candystrip outfit looked like it had been painted on her it was so tight. Seems she was lonely too. We shared a couple of bottles of Chianti 1993 and got talking about our favourite holidays.

Seems she grew up a quaint little fishing village in England called Skegness, spending most of her early life lying on the shimmering sands of it’s beautiful beaches in the splendid summers that existed in that part of the world.

After a while the Chianti loosened her up a bit (working her out in the early part of our evening proved to be difficult) and she opened up about how her life took an unexpected turn for the worse.

Seems she was accosted by a gang of late night revellers. Young drunken men with only one thing on their minds – to abuse her. The pulled her this way and that. She was tamperfered with in a ways that she describes as “too horrific to describe”. Finally, when they had finished with her, they tossed her into the sea.

Six months passed before she was found. The Italian port town of Brindisi was where she had found refuge. She cowered night after night under the boardwalk when finally an old lobster fisherman called Luigi found her. In no time he tidied her up and introduced her to Benni, who was the local ice-cream manufacturer and vendor. He had a small patch on the beach for selling his ice-cream and she understandably became an added attraction, gaining him new custom every day.

Later that year Benni moved to Rimini and took her with him.

I was enchanted by her. Very quickly the wine seemed to take effect and it didn’t take long before we were wrapped in one anothers arms…………and legs…………and our frames became entwined in a moment of extreme passion. We sripped…….or I should say I stripped. She seemed to want to keep her attire intact and no amount of persuasion and effort from me was going to change that. In no time I was on fire and she was more than willing. The cool night air seemed to fuel my ardour and we were still thrashing away as the sun came up in the morning. Finally we sunk in a passionate heap, our very fibre being completely worn out.

Exhausted and at the same time satiated I decided to bid her fond farewell until later.

To my horror when I attempted to rise I was stuck. We had been at it for so long my balls had swollen to four times their normal size. I attempted to explain this to the carabiniere who had worked his way through the small crowd that was now gathering but he was not convinced. We were both arrested and taken into custody.

Fantastic I know……..but that is my story.”

But then I'm sick in the head.

JTB

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wouldhave though that was obvious of course.....................................

CHER.

JTB

:lol:

You didn't say that the chair was stretched leather!

130254-19436.jpg

Pam Anderson is a possibility too (pictured in costume):

130254-19437.jpg

And too bad if the ladies ever find out that this was the actual sized chair:

130254-19438.jpg

:yeah:

Edited by cornerstone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...
Please Sign In or Sign Up