Continue the story...

[Legend]

OK guys, besides expanding our vocabulary and passing time via the perennial words association thread, I am starting another one called Continue the story, where you just need to continue the story told by the poster above you, anyway you like it, using a sentence or paragraph.

This is a variation of the words association thread, and I hope we can have some fun here:

 

Let me kick it off:

 

There was once a troll named KingFrog, who has a very sad life. He owned a genuine Rolex submariner and was delusional about ruling the universe because of it. Despite being banned several times on RWG, he kept coming back to extol the virtues of wearing genuine watches, and condemning replica watches and their wearers. 

 

After each ban, KingFrog would............

[Nanuq]

.......crawl into the depths of his froggy little lair and making sure nobody was watching, would pull the wrinkled and faded photograph of a Rolex from its hiding place beneath his mattress. And gazing longingly at the tattered paper would groan in ecstasy "my preciousssssss"

[Legend]

.......crawl into the depths of his froggy little lair and making sure nobody was watching, would pull the wrinkled and faded photograph of a Rolex from its hiding place beneath his mattress. And gazing longingly at the tattered paper would groan in ecstasy "my preciousssssss"

And tears would drop on the photograph, as he reminisced about his better days, when he owned a noob V1 Submariner and believed with his entire heart that it was gen, until one day, when..

[Nanuq]

.....the FedEx truck arrived with his new order from 1-800-CONTACTS.....

[Legend]

.....the FedEx truck arrived with his new order from 1-800-CONTACTS.....

Kingfrog was shocked, and felt abjectly betrayed. He climbed on a window ledge of an apartment on the 47th floor and looked down, the cars crawling like ants on the roads far below. He moaned a little and took half a froggy step forward toward the edge of the ledge, the wind fiercely blasting his amphibious countenance

[Nanuq]

Crying out "ADRIAN!!" he thrust himself forward into the yawning abyss, and felt gravity, that fearsome mistress, possess him as her own. Falling and falling, he felt himself accelerate until what to his wondering ears did appear but the thundering hooves of 8 tiny reindeer, pulling a sled decked out in dark green tanned Bentley hides, and detailed by walnut. Blinking his tiny beady eyes he gazed up into that face known so well to all Rolex afficionado.... and he blurted out "Hans?!"

[Legend]

Mr Wilsdorf looked severely at the amphibian lifeform he was cradling in his arms, and uttered the words that would change his life forever "the noob v3 submariner is a travesty. At least wait for the v8 you twit". With that, he wiped the tears away from the flat beady eyes of kingfrog and set him upon the pavement. Pondering the wise words of the Rolex god, kingfrog failed to pay attention to the Porsche speeding without care toward him, headlights flashing in warning....

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[POTR]

The ratty looking 914 barely managed to shudder to a stop without flying into pieces without hitting the hapless amphibian. One hubcap coming to rest against the door of the ROLEX AD. A rather young looking boy wearing fashionably ripped and stitched denim and an obscenely 80's looking porshe jacket jumped out and proceeded to wave his finger in his face. Mesmerized by the shape of a submariner on the boy's wrist, the old frog stood stunned, like a deer caught in headlights while the youngster chastised him.

That is until the counterman from the AD walked up with the hubcap that had scuffed the brass door plate of his shop.

Handing the youngster his hubcap, he laughed that he should be more careful. The boastful young man, changed direction of his wrath to the impeccably groomed and attired counterman, shouting in his face that he was richer than hell and could do as he liked. The counterman suggested he may like to get his Dad to come in to the store one day to buy him a REAL ROLEX, since the crap he was wearing was clearly turning his wrist as green as our hapless geriatric frog.

At this point he spewed "Oh yeah? Well I know Muai Tai, Brazillian Ju Jitzu, and a little thing I like to call "i nailed your mom". I'm so bad ass, there isn't one little kid in any of my karate classes that even wants to spar with me cause i UNLEASH THE FURY! Yeah I've got a small penis and nobody likes me, but I drive a porsche worth more than your LIFE so [censored] you! Like the other day, I was walking down the street and this little old lady told me she liked my watch, so I said, "What [censored] you! It's not fake!" So I went into karate mode and SCISSOR KICKED HER IN THE FACE! *WHAM BAM* Then I pulled her up by her hair but her wig came off, turns out she was bald! *GROSS* [censored] old people. Then I picked her up by the ears and kneed her in the face muai tai style! *BLADOW* And I was like "That's what you get for walking so slow [censored]! AND THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULD KNOW MY WATCH IS FAKE, CAUSE IT'S NOT, IT'S A MODDED MBW SUPER DUPER ULTIMATE SUB, AND IT'S REAL! REAL I SAY! IT USES THE SAME MOVEMENT MOST REAL WATCHES DO ANYWAY, IT'S SWISS ETA, IT'S A DIVISION OF SWATCH, PLUS I BOUGHT IT FOR A GOOD VALUE, NOT CAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD A REAL ONE CAUSE I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON KARATE CLASSES, SO [censored] YOU! OH, AND I DRIVE A PORSCHE WORTH MORE THAN YOUR GRANDCHILDREN!" *KAZAAM* Yeah, I showed her what's what. That's the last time she'll be calling me out on my watch. But I gtg, I'm late for yoga class WHERE I PICK UP CHICKS LIKE YOUR MOM! AMERICA!!! [censored] YEAH!!!"

At which point our frog decided he must take better care to provide for his feckless nephew's future, who reminded him so of this character, nearly as sad as himself.

The frog turned away from the ensuing asswhipping of the child, pondering his existence, and the meaning of "who has the best sub"... Obviously he didn't...

[Legend]

(I see that the master has checked in. Time to up the game a little. Hilarious story hahaha. Will add to it shortly)

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[POTR]

(I see that the master has checked in. Time to up the game a little. Hilarious story hahaha. Will add to it shortly)

Sent from Mars using tapatalk

The driver's dialogue stolen from davebs, mocking BMECliq almost exactly 7 years ago, on RWI, in the thread renamed "Completely Owned At The Jewelry Store/Watch Forum."

Just because you threw in Porsche.

Edited February 9, 2015 by POTR

[Legend]

Undetered at the spectacle he just witnessed, kingfrog trudged on, continuing the thoughts of the wise. His bow legged, introspective hops accompanied the rumination whirling his mind. "Noob v5 or shall I wait for the v6?" "What if they find out that my gen is really something that my friend loaned to me and was expecting me to return it, 23yrs or so ago?" "What if the insert of the v5 sub is better than the one on the v6?" And on such ponderings, kingfrog built his universe of thoughts and wondering. It was hardly any surprise that he almost bumped into a tall 6'5" Alaskan walking the other way, hunting rifle slung nonchalantly over one shoulder. Kingfrog looked up in time and ogled at the watch on that weathered wrist. After a few moments of parched silence, he opened his mouth and croaked "wow, is that a ....."

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[Nanuq]

.......Mossberg 12gauge? To which the frosty gaze merely nodded, as the sling came down off his shoulder.

[droptopman]

And the tall Big Crown wearing, Mossberg toting man looked at Kingfrog with sadness and pity, but in the end shot him in the ?

[Nanuq]

Left Nut. Croaking in pain, the nutless amphibian staggered to the nearby wifi cafe and began his search for "RWG" and......

[droptopman]

Any internet venue that might accept him. Unfortunately.....

Sent from my droptop using telepathy.

[Sbybbuser]

The first and only rule of joining RWG is to have balls. Kingfrod stared down to his crotch reminiscing the good time when his two balls can bounce up and down when he run. The feeling of two balls hitting each other always give him the satisfaction of being a man.

[Legend]

The first and only rule of joining RWG is to have balls. Kingfrod stared down to his crotch reminiscing the good time when his two balls can bounce up and down when he run. The feeling of two balls hitting each other always give him the satisfaction of being a man.

And so clutching his remaining testicle, Kingfrog hobbled down the street, wondering why he is so hated, and wondering why he has no life. He thought of seeking a mythical guy named Ken out, as he might gain some insights of living with a missing left nut. Before he could take another step, however, he heard the very real sound of a rifle being cocked behind him, as well as a frosty voice that said "Do you feel lucky? Go ahead, take another step and make my day"

Feeling his remaining nut shrink draw against his body in abject fear and hopelessless, Kingfrog turned around...

[Nanuq]

.....and waved his tattered photograph of a real Rolex madly about, hoping to dissuade the wrath gazing down the well used barrel. With steely eyes the frosty countenance thumbed his safety "off" and exhaled slowly, his finger tightening ever so slowly on the trigger. The well oiled mechanism whispered in nearly silent motion as his knuckle grew white beneath the pressure, until....... "click" and a wrathful grin spread across the frosty lips as the froglet shat his....

[Legend]

..continence pants, size XS, as he managed a dry and barely audible croak  "please..please sir, I have tadpoles at home, and my "gen" rolex, its actually this" he thrust forward the picture of the genuine rolex, trembling as it did like a leaf in the wind

 

The tall man lowered the barrel just a little, disbelieving what he had just heard.. this was clearly a delusional, sad little frog with no life like what he suspected all along, and now with a testicle short. A tear fell from the shrivelled amphibian face as he stood and shook, looking up (way up) into the steely blue eyes of the tall dude who held the rifle and his fate. Moments ticked as eternity was counted in measures of seconds. 

 

After what seemed like 43 eternities, the tall man lowered his rifle and uttered the words that would  make him immortal, had they been heard by the wisest of sages. Unfortunately, the kingfrog is definitely not the wisest of sages or frogs, and he heard, but never understood. To be fair, it was indeed hard to understand standing in a puddle of one's own pee, and having a nut short. His physical condition was not conducive to learning or absorbing wisdom at all:

 

The words of the tall man, whose rifle looked like a toy on his arm, and (whose watch was just frustratingly hidden just that little out of sight, lending suspicion to whether it was a rep Rol..but more of that later)  "whether a watch is genuine or not, it does not matter if the wearer likes and enjoy what he is wearing. But if the heart of a man is not genuine, he lives a lie. Now don't let me see you or your tattered photograph again. I will happily blow the other nut off and feed it to my dog"

 

With that, the tall man turned and walked off down the deserted pavement. The frog stood, head bowed, wondering what the fuck has just transpired. He looked at the photograph of the Rolex, looked at the departing silhouette of the man who had almost shot him twice, and turned to walk in the opposite direction.

 

"What the hell now? Will this day ever end?!" he thought as he stopped short and watched another figure approach him, a cowboy hat on his head, and rodeo boots clacking confidently on the pavement. "Well at least this one does not have a gun" He thought. Kingfrog gulped, and walked tentatively on, trying to avoid contact with the walking cowboy.