KB Posted June 2, 2007 Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 ONE... Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets TWO.... I was checking out at the local K-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE.... A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy." FOUR.... I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FIVE.... Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. SIX.... I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich. SEVEN.... My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" EIGHT.... Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. NINE.... A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, "I just gave him some ant killer..." Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency!" Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doopey Posted June 2, 2007 Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katerchen Posted June 2, 2007 Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 HOLY [censored]!!!!! I just felt from my seat! am seriously LMAO... On what planet did THIS happen??? Is it the australian planet? You must be kiddin... george ONE... Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets TWO.... I was checking out at the local K-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE.... A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy." FOUR.... I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FIVE.... Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. SIX.... I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich. SEVEN.... My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" EIGHT.... Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. NINE.... A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, "I just gave him some ant killer..." Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency!" Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnkaz Posted June 2, 2007 Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 And the stupid shall inherit the earth. It has already happened. Cheers Johnkaz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris5264 Posted June 2, 2007 Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 LOL.....that is a great collection. It reminded me of similar stupid thing that happened about two years ago. My daughter had just had just filled her diaper with some nasty stuff and she needed an emergency change. We were going into Wal-Mart and my wife and I walked in with me holding the obviously soiled diaper. On walking into the store, the Wal-Mart greeter looked at me and asked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted June 2, 2007 Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 On what planet did THIS happen??? Is it the australian planet? No, it's the internet planet. Some of them started as jokes and ended up as "things that happened to a friend of a friend." Example: http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/cruise.asp Have a cruise around Snopes. There are brazillions of them on there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted June 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 Um.....thanks for that Pugs Let me guess you like tell everyone how the movie ends when they're watching too, right? Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 Let me guess you like tell everyone how the movie ends when they're watching too, right? Not at all. I just think believing tales like this wholesale contributes to the dumbing down of teh intarnets. Some so-called facts started as jokes and just got told over and over to the point the joke has been replaced by a myth that subsequently gets reported as fact. Besides, anyone knowledgeable about where you are would assume your emergency number was not 911 and that K-Mart may not be an Australian store. (Fact check, KMart may be renamed to Target in Australia this year, so they do exist, but maybe not for long.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted June 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2007 Another fast fact Australia have had both K-Mart and Target for many years, we just don't have Wal-Mart which was the original named store in this piece Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katerchen Posted June 5, 2007 Report Share Posted June 5, 2007 Another fast fact Australia have had both K-Mart and Target for many years, we just don't have Wal-Mart which was the original named store in this piece Ken ...i posted this (first above post) ass circular mailing piece inside our insurance company and it got nominated off the top of one's head for the BEST MAIL of the month Ill receive a pay-rise these days Ken!!! Thanxs, and never forget: I LUV YOU ALL!! George Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted June 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2007 Hey george good to hear buddy at least it has added to someones betterment Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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