Hilarious!

[Viennawatch]

Below is a posting from Craig's List from a girl who is trying to find herself a husband, and then a guy actually responded to it...

it's too funny..!

The Original Post

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful

(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.

I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at

least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind

that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think

I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could

you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around

200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get

me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married

to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as

I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I

get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,

restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my

feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east

side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have

nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead

gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story

there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment

banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they

hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for

MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest

way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front

about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't

able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a

nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial

interests

PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully

about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your

bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I

see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a

crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you

suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring

my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my

money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely

that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't

be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning

asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation

accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty

hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in

earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy

and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense

to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case

you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were

to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's

as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,

I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"

as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to

believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K

hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then

we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.

Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of

lease, let me know.

[KB]

The guy wins

Ken

[Desuetude]

I lol'd at the story, but also shook my head. I should show that CL post to my mother, so she can understand why I am cautious about finding women in this town. I can't blame her position, considering that she made more money than my father when they first met, although that changed. For all the blather that many women here spew about wanting to be treated equally, being just as capable of handling a high power, high stress lifestyle, etc, their actions certainly speak contrary to their words. A crying shame, because those 500+k/year guys she covets suffer as well, struggling to find a nice girl who isn't a vacuous bitchhoe. Shame how that works.

[gioarmani]

Too funny. And too true.

[phaedo]

Hey, I want to find out where these guys making this sort of money hang out too, so I can figure out how to make it myself! And give me the gals they don't have time for a chance to get to know the 'real me'.

[Victoria]

The guy wins

I think they deserve each other. Each sounds horrific.

One, a narcissistic, crass gold-digger; the other a calculating a-hole who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.

Jesus, get these two together on "Blind Date", quick! So I can laugh at how many people are like them in this world.

[Victoria]

A crying shame, because those 500+k/year guys she covets suffer as well, struggling to find a nice girl who isn't a vacuous bitchhoe. Shame how that works.

I'm not a vacuous bitchhoe. I'm peace-loving, dress well, look okay, and have some savings, and a nice diploma. I bring a nice dowry to the marriage too.

So why I am not married yet??!?!

Oh yeah...because I keep turning men down. Forgot about that.

Gen-Xers, even late ones like me, marry VERY late. I suspect because we have seen how many people divorce, and divorce is VERY SCARY to me personally. No one on either side of my family is divorced. I just want a marriage like my parents have...