KB Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA) "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping) "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company) "This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation) "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.) Quote from the boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation) My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists) "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division) Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Limestone Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 Hehe, god one. //H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shundi Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 Ohhh those are just the tip of the iceburg..got any from AIG ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidestro Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 Ohhh those are just the tip of the iceburg..got any from AIG ? Holy [censored]! A big Government check! Let's see what kind of yacht we can get by end of business today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterOfPuppets Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 LOL! the funniest ones are the last 2!! she died on purpose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FxrAndy Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation) Ken Oh how i know this one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shundi Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 Holy [censored]! A big Government check! Let's see what kind of yacht we can get by end of business today! "Oh yeah, uhh...the $500K spa trip and retreat in Cali? The $24K spend on manicures and pedicures for the executives? Umm...well you see..ah...we'd already BOOKED that time at the resort so if we just hadn't shown up we would have been out the $100K deposit so, ya know...waste not want not? Oh and by the way, we'll need another $30 billion k thanks." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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