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Admin

Administrator
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Posts posted by Admin

  1. I guess a lot of people will recognize these situations ;)

    CAT

    1 - Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As the cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

    2 - Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

    3 - Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

    4 - Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

    5 - Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

    6 - Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and vigorously rub cat's throat.

    7 - Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

    8 - Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

    9 - Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

    10 - Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    11 - Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

    12 - Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

    13 - Tie the little @#!*#^~!'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty Pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

    14 - Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

    15 - Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

    DOG

    Wrap pill in bacon, cheese or peanut butter. Make him beg.

  2. My honest opinion is that I think the header is just fine, even though it contains the replica reference. It's small, fast loading, etc. I don't think it's bothering a lot of members.

    Than again, if this really is a problem for the majority of the members, we might have to do something about it. I can always create a "non-header" skin for those members who prefer it, but this skin will NOT be updated with any changes done to the forum/forum software, so after a while there might be certain services you won't be able to access.

  3. this may be available, but thought i would ask...

    Is there a "Stripped down version" of the forum that we can use? similar to TZ with no images, no crazy banners, just text?

    PP

    At the bottom, there is a "lo-fi"-version avalable

    1. could create a new skin - minimalist or phone centric skin could be good

    If this forum goes mobile friendly or gets a blackberry push, I'm done for!

    As Shundi already said; have a look at the drop-down menu at the bottom left of the forum. I made a PDA/Mobile version available a long time ago ;)

  4. Anybody knows if Gio is ok...btw?

    I received an e-mail from Gio yesterday and he is trying to sort things out. He is doing ok (Or as OK as a man in his situation can do) but he's got fairly good reasons for being preoccupied with other things right now, hence the mix-up.

  5. ...Actually, it cracks me up every time I see your avitar. It looks like poop on the face and the expression is priceless. Almost like he just pulled his head out of his A$$ and is surprised to see someone watching him. :D

    Lemme just tell you that the dirty work we do in the basement on this site, is no joy...Gotta wear goggles and sometimes, after TT has been down there, I even wear a gas mask, if you know what I'm saying ;):tease:

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