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jonthebhoy

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Posts posted by jonthebhoy

  6. Where Is Everybody From (poll)

    in The looney bin

    Posted

    As far as "Where Are You From?" polls go...........I've seen worse. Admittedly yours lacks a little research and planning with presentation perhaps suffering a tad as well. Seem to have your countries/continents/areas/regions a bit muddled as well which leaves the voter more than a little confused and that can't be good.

    I believe in encouragement however and would suggest that you practice, practice, practice. I also believe there is a great poll in all of us and yours will surface one day. You tried and that's what counts.

    Who knows........we may have a "Best Poll" PoM one of these fine days and we'll all be looking out for an entry from dak244.

    Keep up the good work.

    JTB

  10. Tescos

    in The looney bin

    Posted

    Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or

    boyfriend along shopping .

    This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in

    Oxford:

    Dear Mrs. Murray,

    While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty

    Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you

    and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his

    antics.

    Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by

    our surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

    trolleys when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

    intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to

    feminine products aisle.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,

    "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and

    told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a

    Calor gas stove.

    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,

    he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a

    mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the

    Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the

    antidepressants were.

    10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming

    the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look"

    using different size funnels.

    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled

    "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,

    assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices

    again."

    And; last, but not least:

    14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a

    while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

    Yours sincerely,

    Charles Brown

    Store Manager

  24. At The Edge Of The Diving Board....

    in The Panerai Area

    Posted

    @ JTB - always lowering the tone LOL

    JG

    I beg your pardon my good man, although I do possess certain skills in the tone lowering department........this time twas tkeeper who strayed from the path of the decent and righteous and tis he who should be the subject of your villification.

    I was merely a patsy in his sordid little scenario.

    May the good lord have mercy on you.

    JTB

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