jonthebhoy

Neil - Any tips for the Cheltenham Gold Cup?

JTB

Hey gang how about a little interest here, a little love goes a long way

Ken

Ken, as Cicero once said, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."

Down with the polls!

I believe that children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody searching for a hero

People need someone to look up to

I never found anyone to fulfill my needs

A lonely place to be

So I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago

Never to walk in anyone's shadows

If I fail, if I succeed

At least I will live as I believe

No matter what they take from me

They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all

Is happening to me

I found the greatest love of all

Inside of me

The greatest love of all

Is easy to achieve

Learning to love yourself

It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

And I decided long ago

Never to walk in anyone's shadows

If I fail, if I succeed

At least I will live as I believe

No matter what they take from me

They can't take away my dignity

And if by chance, that special place

That you've been dreaming of

Leads you to a lonely place

Find your strength in love

What is Butt Dust?

What, you ask, is "Butt Dust"? Read on and you'll discover the joy in a

child's sincere originality. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.

After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and

one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was

so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember

you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six ."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much

that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in

vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom

explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes

wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN(age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't

give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I

cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing

in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why

is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON(age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what

was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed

when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES(age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named

Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife

looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What

happened to the flea?"

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled

woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why

doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday

sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven

and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but

dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient

daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in

her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

I'm a Bond FANATIC, but there's no way the Wardrobe Mistress employed to dress the actor in the movies is going to subvert business etiquette and tell me how to dress.

Period.

Maybe not but isn't your argument a little contradictory in the sense that you are presenting and supporting someone elses conventions as the basis of what you feel people ought to wear and on what occasion?

JTB

Of all the threads in all the forums in all of the world, you just had to post in this one. Dintcha?

It's that versatile.......I'd wear it with a tu-tu...........if I were so inclined.............which I'm not...............so spare me the funnies..............okay!

JTB

Got this on today:

JTB

I've seen the Glesca Dolmio sauce ones and they are hilarious. These are good too.

JTB

Very nice and especially for a first attempt.

JTB

As always..............."Reproduction"

My gift to you all for trying to keep this thread as short as possible. I give you your very own Porky Pig mask:

JTB

You think this is bad?.........Some bloke on another thread is asking if anyone would like to "meat" Paul McCartney??????????????????

It's unusual. I get the impression that most people don't have an opinion one way or another on this subject.

Well if it doesn't happen and someone (else) gets a good spanking (metaphorically speaking) then the phrase "Don't come crying around here" immediately springs to mind.

JTB

really? ok, let's try it....

what kind of pigs?

Pigs on the wing?

Hey Jon.

Hi John!

Hi guys!

When I read the thread title at first I thought..........jeez that's one helluva drug problem!

I propose porcine aquanauts.

Great band! Loved their seminal album......"Fish? Who Ate All The Fish?"

JTB

Oops posted again!

I heard that Big Bertha's have a bigger sweet spot and allow your balls to travel further

I'm tempted to say "you get a nice long shaft with a Big Bertha" but I won't!

Well I will let you off just this once

Just put yourself down as interested, for a club or two

I'm always on the lookout for a Big Bertha...........but that's another story.

JTB

Man i used to play goöf for 5years...

//robi

........and in case anyone doesn't believe you, I've still got the photo to prove it Robi.......

JTB

PS - Sorry for the thread crap but when someone crosses a ball like that it screams out to be headed into the net............one nil!

I give up..........please stop posting in this thread!

Made me look!