hiker01 Posted January 7, 2010 Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were... 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least: 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deniz21 Posted January 7, 2010 Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 oh oh oh holy sh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NORing Posted January 7, 2010 Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 haha, good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modelizer Posted January 7, 2010 Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 Good one Hike! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronin Posted January 8, 2010 Report Share Posted January 8, 2010 Nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eton Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 That's hilarious, great ideas for when i go shopping w/ the wife Thx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max33 Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Hilarious. That's gonna be my to-do list when I go shopping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterOfPuppets Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Good one Hike Btw im in love with ur new sig u've outdone ur self Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raijor Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 yep that was good for some yuks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
txcollector Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 this is very funny. It was actually believable to the point that I could see myself in his shoes until you go to the guns part since Target doesn't sell them. Change it to Wal-mart and you are good to go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vafarmer70 Posted April 1, 2010 Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Had to come back in here and read this again just to see Hike's signature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanuq Posted April 1, 2010 Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 I love it!!! Muwahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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