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Ok, who has the best 1:1 AAAA+++ Rolex Sub?


Legend

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For my fellow irate readers, we would be all rich men now, if we get a penny everytime a noob registers on RWG, and shoots this question in 5 different sections of RWG immediately after his registration.

 

There are 3 certainties in life. Death, taxes, and noobs with moth-eaten brains registering on RWG for the sole purpose of asking about the best sub and being flamed to death within 4 replies. They then look on their screens in shock, mouth agape at the rude and insensitive replies, then burst into tears and run to mommy, weeping on her apron, and you do not see them again. Occasionally, one or two learn something about RWG culture and etiquettes, and develop into regular members who learn where to get the best sub.

 

Now,  asking who has the best sub is akin to asking which is the best football team, or which franchise serves the best cappuccino. That is why we gather here, different folks with differing opinions, congregated to share and learn, and to gently discourage noobs with no idea of where the search bar lies. Now, back to these noobs. They register, and their first post would be "where can I find the best 1:1 AAAAAA+++ Rolex Sub?", in 8-9 different sections of the forum. They endure the irate blastings, learn to surf a little, thankless for the occasional tidbits of assistance and advice offered to them, and then either disappear into oblivion or  follow up their questions with other equally annoying ones, like the famous ones about where to find the best TD. It would seem to me that these little creepazoids have a list of ready questions written down in their notepad, which they gleefully dispense on RWG like a junkie with a habit. 

 

Some noobs here suffer from searchbar allergy, and could not in their lives stand to get near one. Others suffer from scrollbar disorder, which prevents them from scrolling the page down to where the trusted dealer paradise lays. A large portion is also afflicted with gratitude deficiency, which prevents them from offering even the most basic of thanks to members here who have spent time and effort to render assistance to the supposedly helpless, doe-eyed newcomer. It would seem to me that increasingly so, the requirement to join RWG would be to be blind, thankless, have extremely immobile fingers, and possess a brain chewed on by a pitbull terrier and hosed down with stale beer left over from last year's new year party. 

 

"But I'm New!", some noobs would lament with indignant innocence. Yes they could be new, but internet and forum etiquette has been around since there were forums. If one wishes to know where the best sub is, it would be a good idea to start reading, as the idea of "best" varies from member to member. Some of these more fervent noobs have even coined the phrase "wassub buddy" to greet each other as a form of secret way to identify one another, so that they could stagger the "best sub" questions to create maximum annoyance for the rest of us. Yes I think there is a conspiracy raging, something to do with who has the best subs and who the best dealer is. 

 

I am not biased against noobs. I was one myself not too long ago and I am still learning in many ways. But I think that the question mark "?" symbol should be banned for newcomers below 50 posts, so that everyone would dismiss the robotic looking "Who has the best sub please." as opposed to the infinitely more irritating "so, who has the best sub????" In fact, I think the phrases "best", "who", "td", "AAAA", "1:1:" and especially "sub" should be banned for anyone with less than 50 posts. And there should be a rule against noobs who does not use the search bar or scroll bar. Any noobs who fail to perform a mandatory search for "best AAAA 1:1 rolex sub" at least once a day, and who fails to scroll the pages at least once a day, should be permanently banned and made to join a new forum created for the banned noobs. In this new forum, you are ONLY allowed to post questions, and any sentence not ending with "?" would be deleted. Problem solved. 

 

So noobs, the next time you feel the urge to ask about the best sub, or any other model, please remember that there are more than 40,000 members, and while we love newcomers, we cannot say the same for the questions you ask, which could be easily answered by reading. You would not ask "How do I spell V.I.P?" or "What is the exact string of numbers found in pi" or "What did your mother have for lunch on 12th July 2012?" would you? The same would apply for the famous sub or TD questions. Ask them at your own peril.

 

 

OK incidentally, I am looking for a Rolex Submariner. Please PM me on who has the best sub guys.

Alright I was jesting. 

 

 Thanks for reading my rant and be good to one another and let's try our darnest not ask about best subs or TDs anymore ok? :D

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Typing "who has best XYZ???" is so much easier and quicker than reading for hours and days...

Maybe there should be some kind of basic "exam" to new members before they are allowed to post...?

Btw, I'm relatively new here and to this hobby too. But I DID reading, reading and reading, and will continue to do this...

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Then there is also the kind that basks in the warm fuzy glow from the ±1s and ±1000s for bashing noobs and their inability to search. Albeit eloquently put, the sand in the nether areas is palpable. Some of these threads are more annoying and reek of "lookhowfunnyiam"-ness much more then the actual noob questions.

Cheers :)

PS. Since you say it has been forum etiquette since the dawn of time, you should also realise that noob questions have been the same since that same dawn of time. Thus, with your experience, you should know to Get over It.

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