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Maybe its British Humour or maybe its just funny ...?


PeteM

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These are classified ads which were placed in U.K. Newspapers:

 

 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
___________________________________________

 

 

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbo
ur's dog.
________________________________________________

 

 

 

FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound..
_______________________________________________________

 

 

 

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

 

 

 

________________________________________________________
    JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
_____________________________________________________________

    WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
___________________________________________________________ 


    FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.


(Statement of the Century)
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

        Children Are Quick

      TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

____________________________________
    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

      TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________

        TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

    TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

      TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

        TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________

        TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
______________________________________

        TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

      TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.


(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________

        TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________






Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off..

 

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Hahahaha, I love those!!

 

Kinda like the ad that was doing the rounds on the bike forums a few years back:

 

For Sale GSXR1000 blue/white

250 miles, full history

reason for selling, apparently "Do whatever the fuck you want" doesn't mean what I used to think it did!

 

 

Sixx   :bones:

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Hahahaha, I love those!!

 

Kinda like the ad that was doing the rounds on the bike forums a few years back:

 

For Sale GSXR1000 blue/white

250 miles, full history

reason for selling, apparently "Do whatever the [censored] you want" doesn't mean what I used to think it did!

 

 

Sixx   :bones:

First off.....that was great read Pete....made my morning better!

 

Stu....if that Bike is here, I'll get it off your hands! Any pictures???

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