When You Make A Major Change In Life After A Sudden Realization...

[thomasng]

After much pondering for months, I've decided to cancel my move to the UK. I do not want another job that I will be working long hours in, looking at numbers day in and day out. The money that I would make from it is no reason for me to feel like I'm "suffering" for a few more years. Money isn't everything in life, there are much better things to do. Being an investment banker would mean I would no longer have a life and it isn't very satisfying either.

Instead, I've decided to pursue my goal of becoming a professor, as I would have the opportunity to contribute to the world of knowledge while helping others in their future paths.

I've applied to pursue a PhD in Management and Economics at the University of Toronto for this coming September, to bring me one step closer to my goal. I won't be making any money at all, as you are not permitted to participate in more than 10 hours of work outside of research, and I will be getting some funding for research.

I want to start this thread so people can share any major decisions in life they suddenly make from a realization or discovery they make.

[Admin]

Interesting thread. Like some of you know, I went through a kidney transplant last year. For the past 5 years I've had the same job (computer related) and to be honest I was SICK about it.....Never got to use any of my creative skills and to get a promotion I would have to relocated, most likely abroad. When my kidneys started to fail, I had to stop working becaus I had to go to dialysis almost every day. In this period I started developing a new website with some unique ideas. It was great to finally get to decide to do with most of my days. Even though I had the kidney problems, a forthcoming transplantation and daily dialysis sessions, I thought life was great. A year after I had to stop working, I was ready to get back to work again. I was actualy looking forward to this. Been a year away and thought that it would be great to get back to work...How wrong I was....Iworked for about 3 days when I got that same feeling I had before.....then one that I REALLY did not want to do this any more....I actually woke up every morning, not wanting to go to work....So I decided...to hell with it, and started up my own company. Almost a year since I did that, and I am soon ready to launch a new, national website where I live. I've gotten a lot of praise for the things I have developed and I am now in the middle of applying for finances from different funds and investors. Already got about $7000 to set up my own office space and buy computers and office equipment, so things are looking good....And I'm really happy with my new boss...Myself

[Pugwash]

As much as I love my job, and I do enjoy it, I realised I was fed up of working for someone else. After seeing the amount of money I personally made our company's shareholders, I decided I'd had enough. I'm moving back to Scotland in 3 months where I'll have no job, a new house and a million opportunities.

[chrono903]

As much as I love my job, and I do enjoy it, I realised I was fed up of working for someone else. After seeing the amount of money I personally made our company's shareholders, I decided I'd had enough. I'm moving back to Scotland in 3 months where I'll have no job, a new house and a million opportunities.

reminds me of an axiom

act boldly and unforseen forces will come to your aid.

[Pugwash]

act boldly and unforseen forces will come to your aid.

That's the story of my life.

[gioarmani]

Amen.

[fotoman]

After much pondering for months, I've decided to cancel my move to the UK. I do not want another job that I will be working long hours in, looking at numbers day in and day out. The money that I would make from it is no reason for me to feel like I'm "suffering" for a few more years. Money isn't everything in life, there are much better things to do. Being an investment banker would mean I would no longer have a life and it isn't very satisfying either.

Instead, I've decided to pursue my goal of becoming a professor, as I would have the opportunity to contribute to the world of knowledge while helping others in their future paths.

I've applied to pursue a PhD in Management and Economics at the University of Toronto for this coming September, to bring me one step closer to my goal. I won't be making any money at all, as you are not permitted to participate in more than 10 hours of work outside of research, and I will be getting some funding for research.

I want to start this thread so people can share any major decisions in life they suddenly make from a realization or discovery they make.

fantastic, good luck - we all have to come to terms with who we are adn what we are willing to do for money at some point in life

[Watchmeister]

I spent 15 years at large investment banks and woke up one day realizing that I was averaging 15 days a month traveling and when I was in town my hours were pretty horrific. Now I am at a small firm with 2 partners who I have worked with for going on 20 years. Now I even get to see the kids. Life is all about choices and it sounds like you are making the right one Thomas.

[TwoTone]

@Thomas

Good for you

Life is too short to spend 1/3 of it working in a job that you don't like...

Back in '02 I had a heart attack at age 40...

And boy did that wake me up...

I adopted a personal campaign in my life of "No Regrets"...

Not the "gee I wish I hadn't of done that"...

But more along the lines of not wanting to look back in my life and say "How come I didn't do that?"...

I had the heart attack in June and jumped out of an airplane at 12,000 feet in August (note: I've never been a fan of heights)...

Probably won't jump again, but I don't "Regret" doing it in the least...

How I spend my time today personally & professionally is critical to me...

I want to enjoy every minute of every day to the fullest...

I know what my passions are and I pursue them regularly [Watches being one of them]...

And I'm certainly thankful for each day that I wake up smelling fresh country air...

"Live Well - Laugh Often - Love Much"

My signature says the rest for me...

TT

[longshot]

i have found myself doing just that a few times in my life and never regretted it.

on december 4th a good friend and co-worker suddenly did not show up for work. not like her at all. sadly it turned out she had passed away in her sleep on that sunday night of an aneurysm. she would have turned 40 on december 16th and was very much looking forward to that milestone and the future...

that actually started me thinking again. for most people work is just a matter of trading time for money. but you really never know how much time you will have, and are money and the things it buys really that valuable?

i get decent satisfaction from my job but could probably make a lot more somewhere else. except i only work 37 hours a week and my job is a 15 minute walk or a 10 minute bike ride from home and i don't do overtime and when my day is over, my time is mine

good luck Admin!

[Usil]

There is no easy answer for these questions. I think only a very few ever get the ideal job and even then problems occur. I know a lot of young folks lamenting about having a decent job and I know it is tough for them even with a good education. It took me a year and a half after university before I landed a job that could actually allow me to use my education. I sold cars, vacuum cleaners and was an orderly at a hospital for a year. I was begining to wonder why I went to college and then I saw an add in the news paper for a position at the Health Department. Wound up spending hearly 10 years there and liked the positions I had but the family started to expand and I needed more money (public servants don't make a lot of money). Put my application in to Seven Up which was just bought by Philip Morris and was told the money was flowing like water. Landed a quality assurance positon at twice my salary and never looked back. Is this where I was going with my Zoology degree - no, but at least I was in a technical position putting all my scientific knowledge to good use.

Actually, I got a major in Zoology and a minor in Botany because I loved nature. Seems I forgot to think about what kind of a carreer I might actually get with this degree. Teaching was considered seveal times but every time I talked to some friends who were teachers and the hassels the kids made them go through each day I thought - why do I want to do that for low pay.

My jobs have been good not because of what they requried me to do but because they have been challenging and I was always able to make significant contributions which were recognized. I could not exist long in a meaningless job. Now, I have come to the end of my carreer and while I never became the 'crocodile hunter' which I would have loved to do, I am still happy of the choices I made.

So, a few words of wisdom I have used over the years that might help:

1. Keep your options open.

2. Don't let opprotunities pass you by if they appeal to you.

3. Money is not the main reason for working. If you can't stay in a challenging environment or have little or no ability to make meaningful contributions - bide your time until something better comes along.

4. The maximum time to spend in a job if it is just filling a need but not your best choice - is no more than 5 years. This gives your resume longevity but keeps you moving toward better things. Such moves almost always wind up paying better. If you don't do this you will be surprised how long (way too many years) you stick with something you don't like.

5. If you are not making good pay increases each year then in 5 years the company will be hiring starting people at your salary level. This will get you seriously bent out of shape so don't let this happen. They will probably cycle you out anyway if they have not been giving you good raises.

6. Try to make each job change a 'forward movement' in your carreer. Lateral movements rarely pan out but keep in mind #1 above.

7. Network. Network. Network. Think back at all the friends and aquantences you have known in your neighborhood or job. All of these people can be an inside help to getting a job. AND keep in touch with them at least 2 times a year with email. See how things are going. Opportunities happen this way but you will never know it unless you network.

8. When you rise to a positon that finaly makes you uncomfortable i.e., you liked technical support but they moved you to management which you hate - then take a step back when the opportunity arises. You will be happeir.

9. If you are not happy or hate going to work - objectively evaluate if this is emotional stress, family problems, hate the job, illness or 'the grass is always greener in the next pasture" syndrome. Discuss it with a mate or firend. They even have personal coaches now adays that can help you see what it is you want to do.

10. Don't forget your hobbies. We work so we can take vacations and have hobbies.

Edit -

* I can't believe I forgot the most important one - 'Manage your carreer - don't just let your carreer happen. You have to be in charge of making your carreer happen. I can not tell you how many people I know that just go with the flow and never plan anything. Nobody looks after you except yourself. Make sure you are looking at least 48 months out. There is no way I can have a 10 year plan and even a 5 year plan is difficult. But certainly this year and the next are in my thoughts all the time.

Usil

Edited January 7, 2007 by Usil

[Katerchen]

Interesting thread... although i read prefer reading this issue somehow activates me.

Its hard to put decisions that somehow come like strokes in your life

into theory and explain why sometimes big changes happen.

Maybe concerning your occupation you could say in a simple way

either you got money or you got time... but what to do with all "free" time

when you got no money=opportunities in life?

For myself i somehow lost fear since `99 when i first started

workin self-employed and i really got many headeaches in the beginnig

thinkin about what will be if all fails.

I first started after school (diploma for secondary/matriculation) learning the

profession of a toolmaker... which was no "big deal" to decide cause in the town

i lived in germany were the european headquarters of a car company owned by

general motors (Opel).

[To the people not used to this system: In Germany you can learn a profession/job

without beeing semi-skilled by your employer, you can learn a job and after a period

(sometimes 3 years) you can complete this "apprenticeship" by passing or failing the

exam. With the certificate of your job you can highly improve the chances of beeing

hired by somebody... in other countries they dont know this system of combined study

and handcraftship/work completed with an exam.]

After havin passed as a Toolmaker it really [censored] me off workin on a chain even though

i did well with the exams i didnt spent 12 months workin and screwin just buffers

under the car bodies passing by all day over my head... that was the time i asked

myself why did i got all screwed up rasping and drilling metal and learning all kinds of

milling cutter CNC stuff without havin now the opportunity to execute my skills?

I wasnt alone... i was told to be patient and to wait.

I could see many of my former trainees (now together with me on this chain)

gettin other, better jobs after some months just because they became "friends"

with some labor-union guys to whom they did suck their di*ks on the toilet before.

To keep it short i then had several differences with my departement manager...

(no i definitely didnt do the toilet-thing) and left the company...

At this time i wanted to to somethin else... i first wanted to study engineering

at Technical University but then decided to apply for a job/apprenticeship in

the "commercial domain" (like bank or insurance...)

I simply felt like switching the "blue collar" to "white collar"

leaving the boiler suite...

It then took another 3 years and i passed off the exam insurance broker/salesman...

And believe me, i really was bypassing the toilets these 3 years

During this time i discovered my pleasure havin a job workin together with all

kinds of people rather than carrying dusty old files through the office

or lickin the postage stamps... This was back in 99 when i finished and decided

to work self-employed in insurance business rather than beeing someones

dust catcher in the office.

It wasnt easy at all at the begining... from 99 to know i separated a few times

from "partners" that tried to shortchange myself or that wasnt payin off commissions

for contracts i made... i dont wanna deepen that financial issue too much.

I even went to the labour court with my last Partner in 2001...

(No i wasnt willing to do the toilet-thing)

After all i found a Partner in 2003 and a Company givin me the

chance ridin my business on a really equitable basis...

I must really say and underline that after all (since 99) what drives

and gave me the power to endure wasnt at all the money...

Although i really passed some hard times financially and physically

(remember the toilets ) i loved and still love to be my own "boss" and i am

really thankful in having a job, where we do have all kinds of people

as clients and i really can say i did met some of the most interesting

people in my life beeing invited to our customers homes.

Not to mention all the times where we could help the people

because of fire, robbery or somethin else that would have given most

of the claimants, private persons or businessmen, financially the "final shot".

I really dont wanna euphemize but i wouldnt even swap my occupation

with a better paid assignment as company employee inside a "closed" office...

Most of this mealy persons look like natives of an industrial chicken farm

At this time we moved with our office to another town, ill also have to manage

these days to get another apartment nearby with my girlfriend (shes hot!)

I just can say, if you feel and it comes from the inside of you

that you should somehow change your life... the condition ...the occupation

...the location you live in because you fell youre life is becoming dull and grey... DO IT!!

Its definitely worth concerning these decisions to follow youre heart even

if you first fail... attempt the best you can and be persistent cause this is youre own way...

Follow youre own track and believe in yourself its the only track you got!

I wish you all the luck you need on your tracks...

Regards George

(p.s. avoid the toilets )

[chris5264]

The money that I would make from it is no reason for me to feel like I'm "suffering" for a few more years. Money isn't everything in life, there are much better things to do. Being an investment banker would mean I would no longer have a life and it isn't very satisfying either.

This is a very important insight, and I really believe if more people had it the world would be a much better place. There is very good data to show that materialistic values are associated with all kinds of mental and physical problems from depression to headaches, to just about every other problem of modern society. The life style of a professor has very quality, lots of free time and time to pursue different interests and to spend with family. Good luck with your decision…

[thomasng]

I am sitting here, praying that my PhD application is accepted. It would be a great honour to work with the faculty at the top university in Canada. I feel I am more than qualified, as I exceed all the requirements and I'm confident that my focus of research will appeal to those who will read my application. I have an outstanding GPA from both my undergraduate and MBA programs and lots of work experience, with excellent references.

It will be quite a feeling returning to the same school after 8 years...

[jkerouac]

One of the best things to happen to me in my working life was when the company I was working for was acquired.

My "five-year plan" vanished in an instant, but I had an alternate plan and prayed that they would lay me off so I could get severance to pursue my alternate plan.

I actually worried that they might like my work enough to find some crap cubby hole job to keep me with the company; I would have had to quit and dig a lot deeper to finance my alternate dream. Fortunately, they did the right thing and laid me off, and I was practically dancing down the hall the day that they broke the "bad" news to me. Hell, I felt bad for them because they had to stay there! That severance helped pay for the next nine months of unemployment, a move from the midwest to the west coast, and a new beginning for me and my wife.

Admin, I admire your choice. I know it has not been an easy decision. Good luck, always.