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You are a son of Glasgow, Scotland


jonthebhoy

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Blue Lagoon under the Glasgow Central bridge, "Pizza supper and a glass bottle o jeg big man, nat noo" and you'll get your pizza folded over and dropped in the deep fat fryer (I call it the Argyle Street Calzone)

That's the funniest thing I have read today!

Having served my time behind the counter (paying my way in the family business!) I am now feeling queasy thinking of some of the crap people would pay to eat.

I think the weirdest was an oven pizza topped with tuna, pickled onions and brown sauce.....

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I think they demolished a lot of blocks since last I was there though.

You wouldn't recognise it, they have really torn down a lot of the old "landmarks" both there and at granton, unbelievable the transformation.....

BUT....

You can put [censored] in a shiny box, but it's still [censored]!!

KB is good, George Sq. is full of English Private School Wanks, but LOTS and I mean LOTS of UNBELIEVABLY HOT women, one can sit and nibble at one's cheese and crackers, sipping his port, on a fine afternoon, and FU**ING DROOL everywhere with all the totty goin about lol.

HAHAHAHA!!

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LOTS and I mean LOTS of UNBELIEVABLY HOT women, one can sit and nibble at one's cheese and crackers, sipping his port, on a fine afternoon, and FU**ING DROOL everywhere with all the totty goin about lol.

....wait has anybody seen where I put my Tunnocks Teacakes?

53502-35880.jpg

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That went without saying. But it was always a bit difficult to strike up a conversation unless your name was Quentin. And you had red trousers.

In the meantime, some lassies for the rest of us....

....wait has anybody seen where I put my Tunnocks Teacakes?

53506-35879.jpg

JESUS CHRIST!!

What the hell are those.........AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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And whilst were on the subject of colleges and East Coasties did you hear the wan aboot the two Fife fermers......

Two Fife farmers, Tam and Shuie, are sitting in the Farmers bar,

drinking beer.

Tam turns to Shuie and says, "Ye ken fit? I'm tired o'gan through life

withoot an education. I'morn, I think I'll go doon to the community

college and sign up for some classes."

Shuie thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day Tam goes down to the college and meets the Lecturer, who

signs him up for the four basic classes: maths, English, history, and

logic.

"Logic?" Tam says. "Fit's at?"

The Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"

"Aye"

"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a

Garden."

"That's true, I dee huv a Garden."

"I'm not done," the Lecturer says. "Because you have a Garden, I think

logically that you would have a house."

"Aye, I dee huv a hoose."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a

family."

"I huv a femily."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must

have a wife."

"Yer nae wrang!! I dee huv a wife!!"

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a

heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazin'!! You were able to find a' that

oot, jist 'cos I huv a strimmer."

Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturers's hand and

leaves to meet Shuie at the pub.

He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is signed up for math,

English, history and logic.

"Logic?" Shuie says, "Fit's at?"

Tam says, "I'll show ye. Do you huv a strimmer?"

"No."

"Well then, yer a poof."

JTB ;)

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