rodwc Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 Are you sitting comfortably, then I will begin. I would like to relay a story of a situation which has ( is ) happening to my ex. I say ex. but the truth is nearer separated, as we never got round to a divorce, and we split up 22 years ago. We are still in contact, usually going out for a meal every Fri, her cooking on Sat. me cooking on Sun, and usually helping each other when we can. It`s quite pleasant and we have our own space to do as we please. I bought a house after the split and renovated it over 6-8 years, she bought a house and I renovated that also ( glutton for punishment ). I am still here in my place and quite comfortable, she got an offer from the Doctor next door ,to buy her place , it was too good to refuse, sold the house and bought a unit (cash ). Sixteen years later, her girls up and on with their own lives, everything running smoothly, good health etc. Eldest daughter ( 2 from her first marriage) decides with boyfriend to go into property and business, they buy 4 or 5 places, rent them out etc. Only thing is they are not too savvy about business practises, nay let me say with the use of a vulgar Australian saying, " they wouldn`t know if a Bondi Tram was up them ". The long and short of it , the daughter and boyfriend ask the ex. for money to help them buy into a franchaise, She mortgages her place for the finance for the business, they pay all the instalments for the next 4 years, then the business takes a downturn , they end up splitting up (selling all the properties )and end up with such a tangled financial mess , no-one would believe. The biggest mess is the daughter falls behind with the mortgage re-payments (5 months ), ducks and dives , gets herself out of that and finds the money to pay the arrears. Two months later another demand for 2 months arrears, ok, it`s plain to see that she is out of her depth and struggling financially, not to mention the ex is living her life on edge not knowing what the next day will bring. I am not in a position to help out with a spare $200,000, like I don`t have that much under the bed. Anyway the long and short of it , her unit is now on the market, and even when sold there won`t be enough money for her to re-buy into the market. The situation is the ex. is in deep [censored], the younger daughter has offered her a place to stay, but not for her dog, as the son in law gets asthma from animals, ([censored] ). The elder daughter hasn`t enough equity in her own property ( just been re-financed) to sell and bail the ex out. So I offered the ex. and Chloe ( the dog ) to live here for as long as they wish, or until they can back out of the corner they are in. Am having to put some extra fencing up and put a doggy door in for the dog at night time. So the moral of the story, to me , never put anyone in a situation that you yourself can`t get out of. Make your own decisions but for gods sake don`t change someones life doing so. I suppose my good deed might come back to bite ME on the bum. I`m still smiling by the way, because life could be a hell of a lot worse. Thanks for listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest carlsbadrolex Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 May I be the first to nominate RODWC for Sainthood. Where do I send the official request documents??? I dont think I am a particularly bad person, but you are a MUCH BETTER PERSON than I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodwc Posted August 3, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 May I be the first to nominate RODWC for Sainthood. Where do I send the official request documents??? I dont think I am a particularly bad person, but you are a MUCH BETTER PERSON than I. Whoa there, I certainly wouldn`t lift a finger if my first ex. got hit by a train,tram or bus, but this is different and when someone is down , I for one wouldn`t give them a kick . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shundi Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 I second the nomination for Sainthood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjfesq Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 I think you are happy to have her home with you again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samurai Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 Such is life mate. Wish you all the best. Cheers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnG Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 Whoa there, I certainly wouldn`t lift a finger if my first ex. got hit by a train,tram or bus, but this is different and when someone is down , I for one wouldn`t give them a kick . I know that feeling. I have ex gf's I wouldn't do anything for. And I have a couple that I would give my left kidney for if they needed it. It sounds to me like more than an "ex", she is a close friend of more than twenty years - and is in a bad situation and you are helping her out. I would hate to think I wouldn't do the same for any really close friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeJay Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 I'd have to agree with John there, it's fair to say your current relationship with her (of 20 plus years) supercedes your older, romantic, relationship, so as above, good for you for helping a friend out of a bind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rek001 Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 What a mess, well I think your kindness in some way will be returned to you a thousandfold, and thanks for taking in the doggie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 I suppose my good deed might come back to bite ME on the bum. From my experience, they usually do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_brian_ Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 From my experience, they usually do. Anyhow... A friend in need is a friend indeed... but there is surely more than friendship between you and her if I understand it correctly. I wish you all the best and you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 wow the daughter shoud be happy to have such a mom if i did all does stupid things i woud be killed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted August 3, 2008 Report Share Posted August 3, 2008 Rod buddy you have certainly gone the extra mile here but a thought has occured to me. You two already share dinner 3 nights a week so you are both obviously close, why not try and rekindle the marriage? Like I say to my wife all the time now if we ever split I wouldn't marry again but I would hate to go through old age lonely. Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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