The Mentalist

All the Eagle pilots at Lakenheath seem to wear Rolex Explorers. I asked my buddy there, callsign 'Batman' (What a friggin' cool callsign), why this was and he said the dual timezone facility was handy for 'operational purposes'.

That is a bargain. I'm paying $2.50 per litre here in the UK. I might as well slit my wrists and fill my car up with blood.

I wonder if he got a bulk buy discount.

He probably found it inside an urn. I see his other listing is for a set of false teeth.

Then it's not molten acrylic crystal keeping the caseback on: it's molten flesh. Lovely.

That thing is a writeoff. If he thinks he can have it restored, crack must be free in his neck of the woods.

That thing is gayer than Christopher Biggins wearing a fairy dress mincing across Old Compton Street on the gayest day of the year.

That man is a genius. I'm amazed he even got airbourne with cojones that big.

It's a bit unfortunate that they happen to share the same name as a Basque terrorist organisation. I wonder which came first?

A Kubotan does not kill, a knife does. Are you prepared to go to the ultimate extreme and take another person's life? Does a drunk deserve to be killed because he has gotten a bit rowdy and scared you? Are you prepared to give a robber the means to kill you if you pull out a knife and try to fight back and fail? Sure, a knife is a good visual deterrent but are you prepared for the sensation of sinking steel into living flesh if the deterrence does not work? If you pull a knife out, self defence or otherwise, you make sure you are emotionally prepared to use it.

If you follow the news, you will find that knife crime in London is endemic. I am not a tree hugging pacifist, far from it. My collection of bladed weapons is pretty extensive and I have trained with knives during over 25 years of martial arts training including lecturing and teaching on self defence. I speak from the viewpoint of someone who has been personally affected by knife crime. There is no justification for ever carrying a knife, even as a precautionary measure. Forgetting the fact that it is illegal, there is the fact that it can be used against you or others. If you encounter a knife, there are many ways to tackle the situation. Pulling out another knife is not one them. A knife will not stop a bullet, so what is the point? Using it against an unarmed assailant? That's too much force and will land you in legal trouble. My point is, carrying a knife for self defence is not big and not clever. I'll get off my high horse now. Sorry for going off topic.

What I'm saying is that only fools carry knives and 9 out of 10 times those that carry them don't have the stones to use them. Does it make you feel like a tough guy carrying a blade?

I'm sure you will. A big man like yourself.

Just make sure you know how to use it because if you come across someone who knows what they are doing, they'll end up shoving it up your a$$.

I wish people would stop [censored]ing swearing.

I [censored]ing love Gordon. He is a [censored]ing legend and love his [censored]ing swearing even though he is a [censored]ing [censored]. He's certainly a lot better than [censored]ing [censored] Jamie Oliver.

Too true. I remember once I got 98% in a maths test. The only reason my dad didn't break my fingers for not getting 100% was so I that could hold a pencil for the next test. He waited until the holidays.

The overwhelming human urge to retain their limbs.

I'm a bespoke tailor with my own practice on Savile Row and I'm also a modestly well known psychological entertainer

Watches are an expression of personal style and an extension of your personality and what you wish to show to the world. It can be as personal or in-yer-face as you like. What I find profoundly irritating about the so-called style magazines is that they are essentially self-appointed arbiters of what is deemed to be cool and stylish and much of the rubbish they spout is incredibly contradictory. One issue they might state that big watches are 'in' and the next they might ridicule a purchaser of the previous month's 'must-have' big watch. This to me does not make a whole lot of sense. If you are going to blow several $$$$ on a featured watch (for the sake of argument, a Patek Nautilus Jumbo, reviewed recently by that ginger twit Nick Ffoulkes), are you really going to get rid of it and buy another watch after reading an article which pushes another watch? These watches aren't fashion items: they are long term purchases that one deliberates over in much the same way as a car or a house and you don't replace them on a whim (unless you are as rich as Croesus). One thing I find amusing is that whilst some people will agree with the GQ sentiments, they always happen to find an exception that fits their own personal preferences (such as Panerai).

It's all a matter of opinion. Why should I take their word as gospel? Next season they'll say that big watches are ok. You wear whatever you want to wear. It's down to personal style and judgement. It wasn't so long ago they were expounding the virtues of the Heuer Monaco and Panerai's. I don't think something like a PO or a PAM would be out of place with a good suit but a Graham Chronofighter or HBB would look a bit overegged. That's my opinion and I don't expect everyone to agree. In the same article they are now talking about losing the cufflinks. Great. No doubt a dozen pages down they are doing a pictorial showcase of the latest designer cufflinks. GQ has always been full of it. They haven't a clue and the magazine appeals to the sheeplike fashionistas who lap up the writers' every word.

I always thought GQ were full of sh*t, this just proves it.

I can't believe a man of your established good taste would want a POS like that. Snap out of it, it's a gimmick. Honestly, who would willingly want a rusted piece of junk on your wrist let alone a rep of a rusted piece of junk. After all, it's one thing to have a piece of rust and some alleged coal dust from the Titanic it quite another to have a Chinese rep of the thing that has never been near an Iceberg. Kind of defeats the point of it. This is one crazy world we live in.

This rep is disappointing especially as it is touted as being made using a Gen as a sample. The subdial spacing on the Gen is its major USP. If they couldn't do that, I don't know why they bothered. I am suprised they didn't lower the 9 subdial and lengthen the hand too to make it work.

That brown one should be renamed 'The Big Turd'.