slay Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 I'm serious, did you know, that cows are repsonsible for almost 50% of the greenhouse gas emissions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Usil Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 Yes, it is claimed 'Cow Farts'. But I don't believe it. Usil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 I'm serious, did you know, that cows are repsonsible for almost 50% of the greenhouse gas emissions? [censored]. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheaton26 Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 [censored].no ... cow [censored]. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hu12 Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 damn cows... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 no ... cow [censored]. Well done, you spotted my crappy pun. Over 75% of the gas causing the greenhouse effect is Carbon Dioxide. Methane is 13% Animal flatulence accounts for 14% of global methane production. QED: Less than 2% of greenhouse effect-causing Methane is produced by cows. Yes, it's damned high and scientists are working on ways to reduce animal flatulence (no, really they are) but to come out with a stupid figure like 50% is so silly it actually detracts from the issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddhead Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 Well done, you spotted my crappy pun. Over 75% of the gas causing the greenhouse effect is Carbon Dioxide. Methane is 13% Animal flatulence accounts for 14% of global methane production. QED: Less than 2% of greenhouse effect-causing Methane is produced by cows. Yes, it's damned high and scientists are working on ways to reduce animal flatulence (no, really they are) but to come out with a stupid figure like 50% is so silly it actually detracts from the issue. You're scaring me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highflyingclive Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 What about Kraut fartz? Their beer has a lot to answer for... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 That would explain the moo-zone layer! JTB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryyannon Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 Trust science to find an answer. Hydrogen fuel cell cows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longshot Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Well they should start off with reducing those exhaust gases in factories and cars. Reduce engine sizes in the US and I bet you get the CO2 below critical levels... It's ridiculous - here in Austria, 20 year old 2.4 Liter Diesel engines have to run a test for exhaust gases and if they fail you have to put your car to rest... (BTW those cars are rare) In the US everybody has a truck with a 4 Liter engine sucking triple Diesel amounts and pumping gas in the air like... well - too much. think about it - it's not about the poor cows, it's about us human beings having huge trucks, huge factories and plants of rice and cows... not only the cows. You give Americans far too much credit. Four liter engines are normally found in mid-size trucks and SUV's here. I ride my bicycle from work to a local cafe every day at lunch and watch a parade of 120lb women driving 5000lb+ SUV's with 7 liter (and larger) gas engines the 1/2 mile or maybe 1 mile from their offices to the cafe for their triple non-fat decaf vanilla latte :yucky: I am an American and was born in California and am proud of a lot of what America has done, but a huge percentage of our population are ignorant, wasteful, clueless pigs. And the drunken frat boy in the White House tells them all that global warming is a myth... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest aclaimsman Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Well they should start off with reducing those exhaust gases in factories and cars. Reduce engine sizes in the US and I bet you get the CO2 below critical levels... It's ridiculous - here in Austria, 20 year old 2.4 Liter Diesel engines have to run a test for exhaust gases and if they fail you have to put your car to rest... (BTW those cars are rare) In the US everybody has a truck with a 4 Liter engine sucking triple Diesel amounts and pumping gas in the air like... well - too much. think about it - it's not about the poor cows, it's about us human beings having huge trucks, huge factories and plants of rice and cows... not only the cows. [/quote I bet you think that all the worlds problems are the United States fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SubFrog Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 (edited) Cows: 14% Corps of Engineers: 86% But, isn't every problem in the world the fault of the U.S.? Two guys could get into a bar fight in Denmark and it would be our fault. All I know is...Katrina didn't wipe me out...it was the levees. Thanks to that 86% Edited August 19, 2006 by SubFrog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craytonic Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Well they should start off with reducing those exhaust gases in factories and cars. Reduce engine sizes in the US and I bet you get the CO2 below critical levels... It's ridiculous - here in Austria, 20 year old 2.4 Liter Diesel engines have to run a test for exhaust gases and if they fail you have to put your car to rest... (BTW those cars are rare) In the US everybody has a truck with a 4 Liter engine sucking triple Diesel amounts and pumping gas in the air like... well - too much. think about it - it's not about the poor cows, it's about us human beings having huge trucks, huge factories and plants of rice and cows... not only the cows. Four litre... [censored] that! 5.9!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Four litre... fuck that! 5.9!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoTone Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Do Not Try This At Home bots and girls Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoTone Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Possibly it was the excitement of going out with Dave, her new boyfriend, for the first time. Alternatively, it could have been something she had eaten. Whatever the reason, Caroline had been stricken for the last hour with a rather bad attack of wind. By the time her date arrived it was all she could do to get from the house and into the car without disgracing herself. As Dave closed the door on her side and walked round to his, in desperation Caroline exploded with a very large and loud fart. Dave, getting into the driving seat, appeared not to have noticed. However, turning to her and indicating towards the back seat he said, "Let me introduce my two friends, Linda and Brian. I thought they would like to join us tonight!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoTone Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Miss Manners on Unacceptable noises. "Miss Manners does not plan to mention them, chiefly because they are unmentionable, but you all know who you are. What they are. At any rate, these are noises that are acknowledged by neither the noisemaker nor the noise recipient, because socially they do not exist. The practice of staring hard at the person next to you when, for instance, your own stomach has given off a loud rumble, is therefore to be condemned on grounds of etiquette as well as morals." In other words, if someone nearby cuts the cheese, the correct response is . . . nothing. Socially, the event did not happen, therefore to comment upon it would show a lack of culture. There; you may now let loose with impunity. Should the person next to you wrinkle her nose or offer comment, you are permitted to laugh inwardly at her faux pas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoTone Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 A woman goes into the doctor's office and says, 'Doctor, you have to help me...I've got this problem: You see I can't stop farting. I fart all the time, only they are silent and don't stink. As a matter of fact, I've farted 20 times just now while talking to you.' The doctor fills out a prescription and tells the lady, 'here, take these and come back in a week'. So she leaves and a week later comes back to the doctors office. 'Doctor, doctor you must help me! Now things are worse. I'm still farting all the time, they are still silent but now they smell something awful. You must do something! What were those pills you gave me?' The doctor replied, 'Oh don't worry, those pills where just to fix your sinus condition, now we'll work on your hearing problem.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoTone Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 The Bathtub Fart: People who would never in their life know one fart from another, who would like to act like farts don't exist, will have to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special. It is the only fart you can see! What you see is the bubbles. The Bathtub Fart can be either single or multiple noted and fair or foul as to odor. It makes no difference. The farter's location is what does it. Maybe there is a kind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping ping and a bunch of bubbles. The sound I should point out depends somewhat on the depth of the water and even more on the tub. If it is one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get terrific sound effects. While one of the new thin ones half buried in the floor can be disappointing. But either way, as long as the water is deep enough, whatever the sound, up comes the bubble or bubbles and you have to be quick but glance back over your shoulder and you have seen it, the Bathtub Fart, the most positively identifiable fart known to man. It is a common fart and strictly for your own enjoyment unless you are a kid still young enough to take baths with your friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Possibly it was the excitement of going out with Dave, her new boyfriend, for the first time. Alternatively, it could have been something she had eaten. Whatever the reason, Caroline had been stricken for the last hour with a rather bad attack of wind. By the time her date arrived it was all she could do to get from the house and into the car without disgracing herself. As Dave closed the door on her side and walked round to his, in desperation Caroline exploded with a very large and loud fart. Dave, getting into the driving seat, appeared not to have noticed. However, turning to her and indicating towards the back seat he said, "Let me introduce my two friends, Linda and Brian. I thought they would like to join us tonight!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest aclaimsman Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 Four litre... [censored] that! 5.9!!! 7.3 Powerstroke, thats what i'm talkin about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddhead Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 A woman goes into the doctor's office and says, 'Doctor, you have to help me...I've got this problem: You see I can't stop farting. I fart all the time, only they are silent and don't stink. As a matter of fact, I've farted 20 times just now while talking to you.' The doctor fills out a prescription and tells the lady, 'here, take these and come back in a week'. So she leaves and a week later comes back to the doctors office. "Doctor, doctor you must help me! Now things are worse. I'm still farting all the time, they are still silent but now they smell something awful. You must do something! What were those pills you gave me?" The doctor replied, 'Oh don't worry, those pills where just to fix your sinus condition, now we'll work on your hearing problem.' similar story.. woman goes into a doctor's office, and says "doctor i have this problem.. whenever i feel stressed i fart... they're silent no body hears a thing... ooops there it goes.. but it bothers me. like right now i feel kinda nervous.. there it goes again!! . the other day at work i had to give a presentation to a bunch of senior managers.. oops. there it goes again!! it's and i could not stop.. it is a good thing nobody can hear them... they're not loud or anything but still... what can you do for me?" doctor says "the first thing i am going to do is get your hearing checked!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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