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Great joke! can't stop laughing :clap:

here is another:

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

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Jonny is in the classroom and the teacher asks him, Jonny, there are three birds sitting on the fence, the farmer shoots one so how many are there left? Jonny says, none miss cos the others flew away when the farmer shot one. Teacher says that's the wrong answer Jonny but i like your way of thinking.

Jonny says Miss, there are three ladies walking down the road, one is unwrapping an ice lolly, the other is licking an ice lolly, and the other is sucking an ice lolly, which one is married Miss?

Teacher says, the one that is sucking the ice lolly is married Jonny. Jonny says, no miss, the one that's wearing the wedding ring........but I like your way of thinking.... :inverted:

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Jonny comes home from school early on hearing a noise upstairs goes up and sees his mum on top of his dad. He closes the door and goes back down stairs.

His mother on hearing the door close jumps from the bed gets dressed and rushes downstairs. She asks Jonny if everything is okay to which he replies yes but what were you doing to dad.

Well you know your dad has got a fat tummy I was bouncing up and down to flatten it. Jonny replies you are wasting your time Mum, when you go out the lady next door comes in and she blows it up again....... :notworthy:

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A man knocks on the door of a brothel.

When the madame opens the door, there's a man with no arms or legs. She asks "What do you want?"

He replies "Sex of course"

She says "but you've got no arms or legs, you can't have sex"

He says "Why not? I knocked on the door didn't I?" :partytime:

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And finally.........I got a lotta love for RwG because.......

forget the watches, and guys picking apart the latest and greatest from the dealers, the constant tug that my wallet takes from browsing here on a daily basis over the last 18 mths, forget all that :huh: I love it and call Rwg my home because of all the fantastic members that I have had the good grace to meet and deal with since finding here.......have a great and prosperous rest of the year guys :tu:

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good on admin and the moderator crew for the spirit of charity.

I am happy to purchase one year's platinum membership plus sponsor another member for the same, if the admin can somehow arrange this.

Thank you and Happy Yuletide all! :drinks:

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I love this place - I check in here more times a day than I could count, and every time I do I learn something, I see random acts of kindness, I laugh, and I see a community that takes care of its members.... what's not to love!

I don't believe in beating my kids. I just dress them in Justin Bieber t-shirts and Crocs and let the other kids at school do it for me. - Adam Sandler

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