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Quirky British Newspaper Cuttings


jonthebhoy

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* Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill,

a spokesman for North West gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time

of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during

the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)

* Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van,

because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and

they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)

* A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was

rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This

sort of thing is all too common."

(The Times)

* At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the

spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed He replied he was sorry, but he

didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his

Land Rover off the cliff.

(Aberdeen Evening Express)

* Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with

her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her

garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled "He'd always

seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our

lawn in February 1946, they spelt out "Heil Hitler."

(Bournemouth Evening Echo)

JTB

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* A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was

rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This

sort of thing is all too common."

(The Times)

Umm....................yeah right :blink: ........................ :lol:

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Gawd I love 'colemanballs'! :thumbsupsmileyanim:

I have a book of them that used to make me cry with laughter when I was younger. I found the book at my folks' when I was back in Scotland last year, and I was still laughing my arse off. :lol:

These are from the Private Eye website today:

"There is no player alive today, with the exception of Don Bradman, who hasn’t gone through a bad patch."

MICHAEL ATHERTON

Sky Sports

"It defied gravity and dropped like a stone. "

COMMENTATOR

Sky Sports

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