jonthebhoy Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Scotland sunbathe. 35 degrees - Italian cars won't start. People in Scotland drive with the windows down. 20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on shorts and a T-shirt. 15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming in the sea. 0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on. People in Scotland have a last barbi before it gets cold. -10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct. People in Scotland lick flagpoles. One more: -20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico. People in Scotland throw on a light jacket. -80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic. Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough. -100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps. -173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Scotland get angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky. -297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt. Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands. -460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Scotland start saying " A bit hill chilly ... eh? " -500 degrees - Hell freezes over. Scottish people support England in the World Cup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on. People in Scotland have a last barbi before it gets cold. My favourite, although that's got more to do with the NY Landlords Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted June 5, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 My favourite, although that's got more to do with the NY Landlords Ken The punchline of this is in the last two lines Ken. JTB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 The punchline of this is in the last two lines Ken. Scotland ... the only place the world cup is pronounced "Warrold cup". Could be worse, the world cup is when the English start pronouncing England as Hingerlund. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 The punchline of this is in the last two lines Ken. Yeah I figured that but I already know one Scot who supports the Pommie cricket team and that kinda takes the gloss of it. Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonthebhoy Posted June 5, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Yeah I figured that but I already know one Scot who supports the Pommie cricket team and that kinda takes the gloss of it. Ken Yah got me there sport! Actually my Dad is a Londoner and unlike most of my countrymen, I will be supporting the sassenachs in this World Cup. I'll also give up a shout or two for the Aussies! JTB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psda Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 It'll only get colder than -273,15 °C in the UK, thank god. Anyway, the Scots seem to be screwed between -114,4 and 78,37 °C:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Actually my Dad is a Londoner and unlike most of my countrymen, I will be supporting the sassenachs in this World Cup. I'll be supporting England, while Mrs Pugwash, the Glaswegienne, will be pretending to, just to keep me happy. Then, straight after each match, she'll cry down the phone to her brother of how I forced her to cheer on Beckham's boys ... Ah, World Cups, love 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 It should be no surprise that it took a Glasgow resident (Kelvin) to discover absolute zero! Will be supporting Australia, unsurprisingly! And, yes, anyone playing England. Not into petty nationalism as a rule - perfectly at home with being European, but somehow the English football and rugby teams are always a step too far. When Northern Ireland beat England, I'll be honest, it felt good It's a not-so-guilty pleasure....schadenfreude a la Seaman, Beckham, Pearce & Co.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psda Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 It should be no surprise that it took a Glasgow resident (Kelvin) to discover absolute zero! Will be supporting Australia, unsurprisingly! And, yes, anyone playing England. Not into petty nationalism as a rule - perfectly at home with being European, but somehow the English football and rugby teams are always a step too far. When Northern Ireland beat England, I'll be honest, it felt good It's a not-so-guilty pleasure....schadenfreude a la Seaman, Beckham, Pearce & Co.... Kelvin- Borne in Northern Ireland, died in Scotland, I think nowadays he'd share your football predilections. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornerstone Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Kelvin- Borne in Northern Ireland, died in Scotland Shortly after opening the windows one day, no doubt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r11co Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 (Still can't believe that England are above Italy in the world rankings.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Ronaldinho apparently supports Scotland ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnkaz Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 You can always tell the Scots on holiday, from luminous white to infra red in 4 hours. Cheers Johnkaz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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