jonthebhoy

The meat of one man Is the poison of another And I will always Be my sister’s brother To have ones cake and pay too much when all the time you’d rather go Dutch Life is nude JTB

A cold day in hell if you ask me P. JTB

YES I NOTICED THAT TOO

I'm in the EU. I don't own an IWC. Does this help? JTB

...and buttcap is even worse Rico! JTB

Amen to that. JTB

U-N-D-E-R-W-A-T-E-R W-A-T-C-H

Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car, and saw Daddy and Aunt Diana in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could barely contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. Mommy," Little Johnny exclaimed, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Diana. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Diana a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Diana helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Diana......... At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an INTERESTING story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell him tonight." At the dinner table, Mommy asked Little Johnny to tell Daddy his story. Mommy listened closely as Little Johnny started telling his story about how he saw the car go into the woods..., then watched Aunt Diana get undressed.., and then Aunt Diana laid down on the back seat.... and then Aunt Diana and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army!!!" Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt someone!

Patience dear boy. T'is on its way. JTB

TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO, HE IS THE MARICOPA COUNTY SHERIFF( ARIZONA ) AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER AGAIN. These are some of the reasons why: Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the "tent city jail" to save Arizona from spending tens of million of dollars on another expensive prison complex. He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He banned smoking and porno magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but "G" movies. He says: "they're in jail to pay a debt to society not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when they leave." He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on county and city projects and save taxpayer's money. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination. He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again but only allows the Disney channel and the weather channel. When asked why the weather channel he replied: "so these morons will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs." He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value and is therefore a waste of taxpayer money. When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back." He also bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on US history that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series that actually tells the truth for a change would be welcome and that it might even explain why 95% of the inmates were in his jails in the first place. With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record for June 2nd), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed- wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing pink boxer shorts were chatting in the tents, where temperatures reached 128 degrees. "This is hell. It feels like we live in a furnace," said Ernesto Gonzales, an inmate for 2 years with 10 more to go. "It's inhumane." Joe Arpaio, who makes his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. "Criminals should be punished for their crimes -not live in luxury until it's time for parole, only to go out and commit more crimes so they can come back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things many taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves." Wednesday he told all the inmates who were complaining of the heat in the tents: "It's between 120 to 130 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to walk all day in the sun, wearing full battle gear and get shot at, and they have not committed any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!" Way to go, Sheriff! If all prisons were like yours there would be a lot less crime and we would not be in the current position of running out of prison spaces. Sheriff Joe was just re-elected Sheriff in Maricopa County , Arizona.

Yeah but please please please don't make it order no. 007! JTB

F*** me backwards with a sledgehammer! JTB

The most significant thing about this thread is the complete lack of contributions from the English. I know my Aussie friends don't need reminding that I'm a SCOT. Mind you, I'm one of the rare Scot's who enjoys a game of cricket from time to time and believe you me cricket is one sport that is hated in Scotland with a passion. Like I said, I enjoy a game of cricket from time to time however the first test is a no contest and the prospects for the rest of the series are that it will be one way traffic and therefore............boring. The appeal of the 2005 Ashes series was that it was close and it sucked people in and everyone got caught up in it. This series will, I fear, not do much for the entertainment side of the game and I feel sorry for all those poor sods paying good money to watch such a one-sided affair. Sure winning is great and especially when the opposition is the English but like the All Blacks and rugby union or Europe and the Ryder Cup processional victory turns people off. Sounds like sour grapes and if I were English it probably would be but I'm not. Right now I'm hurting after watching the Aussies give us (SCOTLAND) a real going over in the oval ball game at the home of rugby, Murrayfield. Oh and case I forget...........well done on the tap rugby win as well against NZ. Thank god for curling! JTB

No such thing exists...........and if and when it finally does arrive, join the queue! JTB

How so, when we will both be group winners??? JTB

I'm always on the lookout for a nice watch for the missus and that is certainly one but I've never seen any of our dealers advertising the Quadras. Will watch this thread with interest. JTB

Nope.......see my post above! JTB

Very nice indeed. It wasn't relumed was it? JTB

How remiss of me doc. I meant to say that you are of course going to draw Man Utd in the last 16 and send them packing. JTB

What did you order? JTB

Alan, My reference to arrogance related to the last series in Blighty. After taking the lead I think the Aussies invoked the bragging rites a little too early and only served to agitate the Poms into an inspired riposte, culminating in them taking the series. Of course the Poms had a better team then than now. If it comes down to pure ability and talent then the Aussies should win in a canter and my flabber will be truly gasted if the series is not tied up by the third test. I shall continue to visit your entertaining “diary” to enjoy your slant on events. It’s on SKY TV but far too late over here (way past my bedtime) and anyways, frankly, as it’s a no-contest………I can’t be arsed. JTB

Last year crown guards - this year datewheels. JTB

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