Miss Understood

My dear bhoy... do know that I am merely teasing. And my dear Ms. Barrett, please do keep your knickers tightly buttoned when you see the lad logged in at the same time. He is utterly unpredictable. Twenty-nine? I love this girl. Ta!

Tsk! You do realize, my dear, the only reason I haven't yet "torn you a new one" (how I love Yank colloquialisms) is because your willy is as over developed as your vocabulary. I will be at your cabin by the hot springs for two days. Meet me there, if you knows what's good for ya's. (Snicker! Do Yanks actually speak like this? Chortle!)

My dear Ms. Barrett, how nice to see you once more. To answer your many questions, I have been away at the Russian Federation outpost near by the south pole. There is just some strange and delicious combination of close quarters and all those love starved, healthy young men. Now I see it is time to whip some sense back into my succulent salmon... he has been apparently a naughty boy in my absence.

My succulent salmon has also whimpered a preference for 38 double-D. "Flat"? I daresay not.

Oh, my. Are those the nude toesies of my succulent salmon? It does give a lady the vapors.

Yes, my dear and anonymous vbarrett, I must have a word with the Administration staff of this board. While they do perform fairly well there is the infrequent shortcoming. To think that I would abandon this site is simply absurd. The postman is simply too rushed. To his small way of thinking it is all in the "delivery" if that simile is not too coarse. My milkman, however, is far more versed in the pleasures of milky substances and how ... and when ... to deliver them. But overall I believe my vote for "most desireable male" would go to my succulent salmon. I daresay it is time for another holiday in the arctic.

My goodness, isn't that a cute little thing. I have over the past two years succumbed to the siren song of youthful pleasures and have found myself thoroughly enjoying a certain 2005 VW R32 "with" ... as our Yank friends so mysteriously put it. My darling rollerskate was sprightly from birth but I soon found his 170bhp lacking. So several calls were placed to VF Engineering and I found their claims irresistable. Stage three was the landing point for me, and my 390bhp are more than adequate with my full time all wheel drive to emasculate all but the most persistent youth in their "rice grinders". As my succulent salmon so pithily puts it. Here is my darling little rollerskate, of course this is not mine but the image is accurate Here are the hard-won results of my stage three modifications. Oh my, now I'm all dewy again.

Dear me, I'm afraid I read a wee bit too much into the title of this topic. My record is far more than twice, and it did emphatically not happen with a postman.

Ah, my dear Doc, Have you never experimented with ceramics? Although they are quite brittle, their scratch resistance is superb. Unless a watch was never used, it would soon acquire a patina not otherwise seen on the genuine piece. To my uneducated eye this would be a dead tell.

My dear Lazarini, I do hope you realize what luck you enjoy having friends such as these in your life. Your lady friend is a delight, and I admire her taste, both in watches and men. Well done!

The words "Darth Vader" spring to mind.

I have found K-Y jelly to be a perfectly acceptable lubricant for almost any circumstance. It may even work for your bezel, although it is not waterproof. Perhaps you should do well to remove the bezel, clean thoroughly beneath it, then to rebuild it with a light dollop of oil? Be warned however, as the ever-so-yummy Aegis has mentioned, it will then gather dust in the oils and will need repeating.

Ah, my dear Freddy you will needs prise that luscious Royce from my hands. A Plymouth is for a swaggering Yank schoolboy while a Royce is a carriage for a queen. Now then, shall we ascertain whether you are, in fact, a queen? I thought not. The keys, please.

Was it GRAN that posted regarding my willingness to act as dung collector? Tsk. Gran, do not sleep tonight. You never know when I will come into your bedroom.

My dear panting bhoys, although I am not sure whether you shall be able to read this through the condensation upon your screens, permit an expression of gentle chiding: Tsk! My hands are firmly upon my hips. While I know bhoys will be forever bhoys, it occurs to me that this gentle Board has rules pertaining to the succulent bits Gran has shared with us here. Do not make the mistake of assuming that I disprove of these, nor that I am a prude. Ask my succulent salmon if you will, but I occupy perhaps the furthest compass point distant from "prude." I tend more toward handcuffs and whipped cream, and that is all you will get from my delicate mouth on that topic! Dear me, now I am all a-blush. Bhoys, if you must have this form of entertainment, you will find untold hundreds of similar photos on the elder RWG site, many of which are of yours truly. Shall I tell which? I dare say NO. Please, peek all you wish. But do peek elsewhere.

Tsk! My dear bhoys your eyes are popping and your keyboards will suffer for it. Please, those are simple mammary glands. Nonetheless, because you requested more photographs of the fair sex, I offer my smiling face.

Ah my dear Usil, I have been far and traveled wide. I do apologise for being gone these many months. Let us just agree that my absence has been well worth it.

Oh, my goodness. I feel mildly weak in my knees.

Is it alright for ladies to play in this game? On the week-end I'll sport my favorite, a Gubelin "bras en air" platinum wonder. This delightful watch shows the Colossus of Rhodes in a relaxed, nee flaccid state until the button is held, when he raises his arms to show the time. It is most marvelous to watch. And when the hour reaches morning, other portions of the dial are likewise animated to demonstrate the (ahem) rising of the sun. I do so love that part.

My dearest Tino, has anyone told you my middle name? (psst, hello Msr. Twotone, I see you peeking) A hint, my dear. It begins with "P" and rhymes with "ram". I believe this answers the hotness question.

My dear Admin Do you not suppose it is time to let the forum know precisely *why* you have been staying "up" so late? Dear me, I do embarrass myself at times.

For some odd reason I felt compelled to check this topic. Perhaps it was the happy coincidence of seeing my succulent salmon posting about doggies?

My dear bhoy, my succulent salmon :wuv: You know the delicious moans the delicate touch might elicit from the Fair Sex. Of those you are the master, never to be deposed from my throbbing throne. I purr for you. There are times and places for delicacy, and there are times and places for "The Rock." Where IS that Rock? I have a certain proposal to issue.

Ah my dear bhoys Did you not see these results before the voting commenced? Tsk! Marketing is a science and it has learnt how to penetrate even the densest skull, leaving a memory. Or perhaps more tacitly said, leaving a Pavlovian response to a specific stimulus. With massive repetition of imagery showing stainless steel sports watches, usually with a round and dark face, and correlating those watches with imagery of macho or money or boobs, can you not see that many people are programmed to reach the desired conclusion? Of course the voting would go toward where the advertising dollars have been spent. A small eclectic group will recognize the superiority of a watch other than stainless, round and sporty. Perhaps these persons are immune to advertising? More likely they have superb filters with which to eliminate the dross from their lives. Some would call it discriminating taste. This small group will be less likely to spend a lot of time here, and will not vote for a pedantic watch. And so you have the easily manipulated majoriity voting, as always, for the eye-candy soundbite candidate. Tsk. And I would so have loved something obscure, done well.

Excellent all around. This is how the fora are supposed to operate! I do personally tend to wear my watches slightly loose or I find myself replacing bent springbars every month.